Today has just been one of those aggravating days where everything seems to go wrong even though not everything does and your brain feels fried... I have become slightly more aggravated over the past couple of weeks with crap that my friends complain about, school becoming more and more boring because I go so fast and everyone else goes so slow, being overloaded with projects that I have to do (for school and things for other people and things for myself), with having less and less time to enjoy myself, and with having some rain over the past week after it was so sunny. I know that I will get over this and that it will be fine, but I needed somewhere to complain... and it seems everyone is more than happy to dump their complaints on me but no one wants to listen to mine. (Jules, this is not at all pointed at you because what you talk about is actually legitimate and I know that you're getting better... it's other people.) I am seriously debating over whether or not I am going to home school next year. If I find out that home schoolers get the same amount of scholarships, then it's a go. If not, I'll have to look over the info some more.

On the brighter side, I'm getting closer to my dream [: I have everything that I'm going to do with the horses beginning to really sort out in my head but unfortunately to the time restrictions and the rain and school and projects and whatnot, I haven't had much time to actually use it! I will have to write some more on what I'm doing with them later.

Also, Cherish has started to develop some dominant habits. I'm serious- my timid RBI has finally started being LB, but not in a good way. I haven't played with her much all winter due to things such as the above, but I am going to put all of those to the side next week and the weeks after that. I've decided that none of those things are as near as important as my horses, and that if it's stressing me out so much I don't need to have it all to do at once. No more will I listen to my "friends" complain. No more will I let school bore me because I am writing a book on philosophy, my look on life, the human brain and mind and selves (etc), the horses inner workings (as far as I know about them), teenagers, society, how to be with your horse and how to be successful in life, etc etc. No more will I sit through lunch completely bored, but go to the library and get some of my book done. No more will I completely submerge myself in projects of all different kinds (unless they're school projects of course, then it's mandatory) and no longer will I read five different books at once. No longer will I say "the important things can wait until tomorrow" because tomorrows are always one day ahead of you- I want to use my todays instead, then I will actually live in the moment. And finally- no longer will I worry what I will do once I get to this point with the horses, because I will find it as it comes. It will come naturally, as it always does when I allow it to, and everything will be fine.

Writing this has considerably lowered my aggravation. I am now happy to be living in the moment. Thank you, for those of you who tolerated this post of aggravation and complaints and no longers. I think everyone needs to post something like this every so often, because not everything is sunshiney, is it? Well... most of it is, if you allow it to be.

Have fun today. [: