Here are all the things that I have accomplished within the last few weeks/couple of months.

Responsibility-
I take great responsibility now, not just in chores but in all of life. It actually really bothers me when other people do my chores and jobs because they usually do them wrong. I do enjoy doing small tasks, even though I know that they are not the main importance of the day. It all seems to be quite relative, responsibility coming along with everything else.

Realization-
I have truly realized who I am, all of the parts of me, what I need to do to be myself, and finally, just in the last couple of days, what I need to do to truly be with horses. I know that I have been with horses often before, but now I know which aspects I need to bring into my horsemanship the most. They are all things that I have experienced before, all things that I have felt were magical, but nothing that I actually had thought of integrating into my daily routine. Silly me, the best things should not be spared for every so often! I have learned more and more what my true dreams are and what I will be doing with my life. I know that I have many simple talents, but I only have one true passion- understanding horses, understanding myself, and understanding the world around me... and putting it all into mix to make every day beautiful and to be the best with horses that I can be. I know that many people do love their horses, but horses are my dream. Simple as that.
I have also realized that you have no choice but to follow your dream or else you will eventually lose yourself. You must do what you feel like, even if- and especially when- it is the most spontaneous thing. I am actually doing much better with the horses now that I am off of a specific program because I am trying more and more to do things as I choose and when I choose- but I just consciously made note of that today. I know that when with horses I will now be doing everything by my wonderful intuition that I have- and nothing by what I think I know. Knowing is nothing. Believing and seeing and living and dreaming... is everything. It all turns into trust, communication, leadership, and ultimate partnership.

Love and acceptance-
I have come to carry the mindset of love with me. I am completely accepting of all people. Before, I was not judgmental, but now I am completely acceptant- and there is a difference. Not just people, but animals, are all beautiful to me and I see the sun in all of them unless their souls are dead or gone. Dead souls are ugly, depressing, sad... and there are so many people who carry dead souls, who carry no souls. I still accept them, but I cannot bring myself to love them. You cannot love something that is not there...

Further look into the person, the horse, and the world-
The horse is an extremely deep and wise being. Even the most childish of them know and bear far more than humans do- bearing not negativity, but bearing beauty, pride, and grace. It is extremely depressing to see a horse that has been stripped of his soul, or rather, had his soul ripped from him... but thankfully, at our farm, I do not have to see those. The horse is more intuitive than any person I have ever met. They know more about the world than we do. They each have their own unique, but large, self presence if allowed to be free. They are independent, full of pride, and absolutely beautiful beings. They have a massive amount of energy flowing through them and a great, powerful ambiance surrounding them. If you know what to look for, you can feel it. Their dances are beautiful, even though I am still learning how to dance with them. Their songs are gorgeous. I sing their songs to them sometimes. Each horse has their own song- and each horse loves their own song the best. They also love mine, because I am free when I sing it.
The person is much more complex simply because of the world they have grown up in. They have all been taught to shy from themselves- the saddest thing. Very few people have a large self presence, very few people actually have much self at all. Many of them are blank, empty. Those who do have self presence or self tend to actually be outsiders, not because they are freaks but simply because they do not fit in with the rest of the blank faces. It is extremely disturbing to be around someone who has a self presence and ambiance of complete hate- I am around people like that every day. The energy coming off of them is terrifying, disturbing, and angering. I cannot believe that a person would be so manipulated in their child hood that they would be that screwed by the time they were in their teens. The human being has a self- what they are born with and who they are. A character- what they have developed into within the first few years of life. A personality- a mix of character, a bit of the self, and mostly habits and constant reactions. A self presence- how much of their self they show, how they show it, who they are, and how they live. Energy- what feedback emits off of them and goes into/fills them. Ambiance- the typical energy and feeling that surrounds them. Most people have damaged much of these things- all things that are very important to make up a person.
The world is much deeper than we think as well. The only way I can explain it as of right now is that there is a mass energy that flows through and of every single thing. When you tap into it, you can hear, feel, sense, see, etc everything much more clearly than you have ever been able to before and at much greater distances. When you tap into this you also live much more fully and have great peace. You have much greater focus- it is wonderful when working, meditating, and playing with horses. You have to be careful though because you can damage a small piece of it if negative energy or emotions are put into it while you are in this state. You can also lose it quite easily. I am still mastering holding it for a long period of time.

Material things and projects-
I have gotten at least a hundred pictures edited. I have read Klaus Hempfling's "Dancing with Horses" and am right now reading "It is not I who seeks the horse, The Horse Seeks Me." I got two 22' feather lines and have purchased very light and small ring and carabiners from Home Depot/Lowes. They make the rope even lighter and take a  bit of pressure off. I have created the design for my cordeo rope that I will craft for Finale- it is going to be blue and yellow and gold, with beads that have the pattern of this energy sun/flower on it. It will stand for completeness in dreams, peace, the energy of the world, and joy and be very beautiful. I cannot wait to get started on it. We went to look at a 2H BP Sundowner Sunlite 707 trailer (year 2007) and are taking my dad to look at it tomorrow. It is up to him, ultimately, whether or not we buy it because he is the one who is buying it so that I can then pay him off over time... but I believe that we will be bringing home a trailer tomorrow and if we aren't, that's okay too. We bought some hooks at both Home Depot, Lowes, and Target yesterday and this spring break (this weekend/next week/next weekend) we are ORGANIZING THE BARN. Yay! I love organization! I think we might also paint my room (my window wall the color of a light blue sky on a day with no clouds and the rest of them ivory- canvas style criss crossed texture painting), and paint the pedestal, and put pine straw in the front garden bed, and I might video tape my mom so that she can audition for her Level 2 On Line at least. My book, "What Horses Reveal" should come soon. Anything else?

Patience-
I have become extremely patient over the last couple of months. I do not tap my fingers, I do not get aggravated when waiting. It's okay for me to wait now, because I know that the things that matter the most will eventually follow through.

My Dream-
Horses. Simply, horses. More detailed, I want to be able to have such in tune body language that I can meet, work with, and continue to train a horse completely at Liberty. First, I would like to be able to do everything with the cordeo. Basically this is what that would take- extreme knowledge of myself, extreme intuition, and extremely good body language. I am ready for the challenge. This will be my life purpose, my life path, my life journey. Obviously I will have to find other things to do for money and such, but this will be the most important thing.
Another Dream-
Once I get to the point of the first dream, I would love to have my own beautiful farm set in a valley amongst the mountains and forests somewhere... And have people come, one at a time, for however long they need to.  They would come and stay to learn and/or to find themselves. I imagine that the people will come as I am ready for them.

And for now I must go and read my Klaus Hempfling book and get ready for bed.... Because it is not Friday and I do have school tomorrow. I may post on some of this stuff more tomorrow, continuing with more things that I have come to know within the last couple of months. If I don't, oh well. At least I know these things. Whether or not you know them doesn't hold much significance.