A Learning Way

Julia:

What is body language?

My answer:

Body language is something that can be very exaggerated or very precise. It shows the emotion and energy which we carry and just further increases the connection - especially when it's always consist and completely pure. It shows whether we are stressed, emotionally pressured, or whether we have been beaten (metaphorically and literally). It shows scars, inward and outward, and freedoms, also in and out. It connects the inner world with the outer world. [especially for those who need help doing so] Body language further encourages you to have a conversation with your horse. It ends up with extreme lightness, with everything of soft, of joy, and is the reflection of what is inside. Your body language should be just as truthful as your emotions are. If you are so joyful and excited that you feel the instant need to run, do so! If you are sad, don't be ashamed to sit on the ground and slump your shoulders and cry. Body language is not just a signal, but an expression. [of who we are and how we feel inside]

A big part of showing gratitude and independence that both my horse and I share is not scratches or treats as said previously, but giving them just as much freedom and leadership as I have. I never try to "dominate" my horses - dominating in the traditional way or even the natural way is damaging to both you,your horse, and the relationship and connection between you. No, instead of dominate, I wish to share. Never do my horses try to overpower me because they have no reason to. We have a mutual respect, a shared independence, and they can leave at any time. None of it is personal if they leave - it does not hurt my feelings. If they pin their ears, they are simply showing me something that I had not noticed at the subtler phase - but I can't remember the last time that happened. [I wrote that before this morning - if you want to see the story behind it, go to Day 13.] If you truly listen to the quiet whispers of your horse, through body language and connection, there will be no reason for it to get to that point. You will have such understanding for each other that you will only need a rope for safety or for your own confidence. Once you are confident enough to change to liberty, it will already be there. I allow myself to have complete freedom with my horse, and in turn my horses have complete freedom. [giving it to me as well.] I allow myself to have complete balance of emotions. But what is balance of emotions? Balance of emotions is not being happy or calm or excited [etc] all the time - it is simply allowing yourself to feel every emotion that comes up. I allow myself freedom of movement, of heart, of soul, of emotion, of thought, of feel, of connection, of space....... Everything. With my freedom, there is not question that the horse would have it or not. Just allow it to happen, allow yourself to be spontaneous at the first wish from you. Have trust in yourself. You may be better than you think.

[I am not claiming that I am able to grasp this all the time - in fact, I am just as human as any of you, and I do screw up on occasion. But this is what I am when I allow myself to flow - free. And my horses are, in turn, fre as well. You can tell the difference.]

I also have to say something about verbal commands or comments other than simply speaking with your horse to help you to do it connectively, admitting something to them and yourself, or thanking them. When you scold yoru horse verbally, you are often not actually aggravated at your horse - you are aggravated at yourself, nervous, frustrated at the situation or your lack of knowledge, or just done for the day. If something is bothering you, you never scold your horse - this just further makes it worse. Not because you scolded, but because in the scolding, you completely denied yourself of feeling your emotion that actually means something. The meaning behind your emotion. Also, when you tell your horse to trot.... Your horse already knows how to trot without your rambling mouth of your literal mouth or your mental mouth. The more you allow your literal mouth, the more likely you are actually to have frizzled thoughts. If you just quietly and calmly ask for it while connected, and then use slight body language, and then slowly further ..... your horse will be very appreciative. Horses are quiet creatures for a reason. They are speakers only to those who listen and listeners more to those who are willing to listen rather than those who speak jibber jabber constantly.

What else was I going to say...

Oh! Yes! Body language. More about it.

Body language is not repeated movements. Body language is not the Driving Game, and it's not constant tapping or asking. It's not the porcupine game. It is the gestures and expressions you make to the horse through your physical body. There is truly only use in body language if you have the correct emotion and feeling behind it. If you're asking your horse to move over, and you are nervous and unsure about your asking, they won't do it. YOu always must be confident, calm, quiet, and unquestioning of your own leadership - or it will not work. And how do you do that? Sometimes, all you have to do is to let your horse be the leader first. You have to listen. The more you become confident in their leadership, themore you may borrow their confidence and then [eventually develop the capacity to] become confident in yours.