I walked out to the barn planning to play On Line, but instead decided against it. I had just read a blog about testing and teaching and was inspired to test my relationship with Cherish. I grabbed a couple Carrot Sticks and walked out to the pasture. My mom already had Hope on a 12' line and Finale and Cherish were waiting for me by the gate. I asked both of them to follow but Finale did not understand what I was asking of her- no big, I'll just play with Cherish at Liberty. I played Stick to Me for a bit and noticed that her backup at Liberty was very weak- something to work on. I got her to do backup in several different ways like Stick to Me, backing up by the tail, and doing the yoyo game with just a finger. She was able to figure each thing out, so I just stood with my back to her face and scratched her withers as another horse would. She began to stretch her neck out, feeling really good about it. After a moment she reached back and put her nose on my back, just rubbing it in circles there. She knew not to be too rough with her rubbing, just lightly circling her nose on my back. I smiled to myself as the whole world filled with warmth. My girl sighed deeply and I turned to face her slowly, still with a very contented feeling. She stayed with her head turned and just encircled me, bringing her nose up to my shoulder and holding me there. I reached forward with my left hand and stroked her jugular, one of the most vulnerable places on a horse. She did not tense up for a moment and in fact seemed very soft when I did so. I got her to disengage her hindquarters by tilting my head and shoulders just slightly, then walked over to the fence. I tried to do sideways against the fence, but went to fast with my phases. Even though my phases technically were slow, they were no where near slow enough or mild enough for her. All I had needed to do would be to lift the stick- I probably wouldn't have even needed to shake it at her. Instead I put forth way too much energy and she walked a few steps away. I thought for a moment before she came back and I just stood there stroking her for another few minutes. Even though I fumble here and there in my horsemanship, I know that with every fumble I stand up and learn why and what led to that. I smiled at her and continued to stroke her before asking her to move just her hindquarters, this time with Finale next to her. She looked away and I did not retreat, so then she walked away. This time she stopped, turned her head back, watched me for a moment and decided that I was not neutral enough to go back to. Instead of feeling really discouraged, I decided to go and stroke Finale before watching my mom. She was playing the circling game with Hope. Both of them looked very soft but it didn't quite look like a game... It almost looked like a task. It wasn't quite a job, not too unpleasant, but just something to do. I asked my mom to get her to think... "Is Hope very curious?" She disengaged her and Hope came in very softly to stand next to her. She looked at me with her thinking face for a moment before answering, "I haven't been able to play with her much...." which started out soft and then faded. The second thing she said was much stronger and went something like this: "What can I do to get her to be curious?" I answered, "You could drop the rope or go behind the fence." I walked away but could see her looking at me funny out of the corner of my eye. A minute or so later I looked back over to see her crawling between the wires on the fence and Hope looking at her like.... "WHAA.....?" She started to play a couple games and Hope was completely thrilled! She was asking questions right and left and I could see a laugh in my mom's eyes. That's what I love to see. My mom is naturally a very soft person, so she got Hope to be very soft. It is good for Hope to be soft because she is innately RBE, but there needs to be a balance of soft and fun. My mom had made Hope into what she is... One of the greatest human wants is to turn everything as similar to ourself as we can because that is the one thing we understand the best.

I have a challenge for you: Do not try to make your horse similar to you, but instead adapt yourself to meet your horse's needs. This may sound very basic to some of you, but I still find that many natural people do it and even strive to do so! Being yourself is one of the greatest things you can do for yourself and for others- let your horse be beautiful. Do not try to navigate where their horsenality grows into, but instead let the beautiful flowers grow where they want to. You will end up with a more beautiful garden than you would have if you had planted them in lines- a NATURAL garden.