Letters to Julia

[As a forward note- I have started a series of writings that I call "letters to Julia". Due to the fact that I find it hard to write my ideas down without having any subject or face to direct them toward, I have picked my dear friend Julia to direct the letters toward. They are not necessarily all speaking of her when speaking of a subject, but instead bringing a subject to mind. I say "you" because it is easier than saying "them"... because there are so many different thems out there. They have become letters after I had originally designed them only as elaborate paragraphs, but I do not so much mind them this way. I have been writing one every night, but only for three days. I have decided to share this one. Note to Julia: No, I will not be sharing all of my letters with you unless I feel like it. Why? I don't know. This is the way I work, welcome to the side of me that I tend to be... reserved with. Added notes will be in italics.]

1/27/10

Dear Julia,

There are so many people who do things in life just to get one rank over another, just to prove that they are worthy, just to show that their service to someone in need is greater than yours. Here is where you may come to know why the civilizations of the world are falling apart. This is an exaggeration of course, I know that they are not literally falling apart. They have countless power struggles, and they never embrace themselves. They sell their souls only to make themselves feel worthy- and I hope that this is never a choice you make.

Anger is only admittance that something has control over you- otherwise you would not feel the need to become angry. Assertiveness is a different thing. I.e... When someone is bullying a kid at school, I do not come back in rage but in a calm, stern manner. Usually I add a bit of sarcasm just to offset them...  and because it is in my nature. Fear is a show of what we have convinced ourselves to stay away from. Some people show love in fear- the more you fear something, the more you must have cared about it in the first place in order to make yourself go through so much. Do not be worried about your fear, especially your fear with horses. Tend to it, care for it - for your fear, I think, is only love with scars and love afraid of damage to itself. Do not ever dismiss your fears - for now it is the only way your body knows how to care. As you tend to and care for your fear - your injured love - more, you will find that you will come to no longer have fear, but a filling, content, complete love. It only takes time. It of course also takes... love, language, and leadership with yourself.

That is all I have for thought just now. Take care dear.

Smiles,

Kara