Once again, my father is screaming about his precious grass seedlings that our "beasts" are destroying. I am a fighter... When I get angry, I scream a lot too. We went back and forth (I was on Finale and he was on the deck). I was riding her where it's safe to ride her- in the barnyard. I didn't want to take her into the pasture quite yet but asked my mom to open the pasture gate anyway, planning for some approach and retreat. Those of you who dream every day of having your barn at your house every day: It's not all flower petals and sunshine. When it's at your house, you can't escape from your family. (However, I do love having it here.)
After our little scrimmage of the words, I went into the pasture with some force from my mom. Well... I knew I shouldn't ride her in there because she was already keyed up from having a screaming monster (me) on her back. She wasn't sure if she should be afraid of me... But once she got in the pasture she was SO nervous. At one point she spun in a circle and I went doing "speeding tickets" before she even got to the speed. Not good. Then, she kept on walking and I just went into my own little fit. Unfortunately, I do have a lot of anger every so often but have been controlling it more. This week and the week before that and the week before that have all been stressful... Really, these past couple of months have been stressful. So tonight, all my little RBI/LBI (or INTP, if you're familiar with that) self just EXPLODED. I calmed myself down fairly quickly and got off of Finale. I stood there scratching her for a minute as if to say sorry before I let her go.
My father tends to have that affect on me. It seems he's always the most efficient at popping my balloon when he wants to.
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