I arrived home completely exhausted so I decided I would rest for about thirty minutes before heading out with the horses. I attempted to work some on my project that I'm doing for a friend but couldn't concentrate enough to write. I tried to read some of the book my mom gave me today, "The Tao of Equus" by Linda Kohanov but my eyes weren't really adjusting to the type on the page. I decided to check my email from Julia and ended up writing her a much more elaborate one than she had originally written me... And the dreams flooding into my head made me alive [: My dad stepped into the house just as I went bounding down the stairs to go play with the horses.

I put on my Valentine's Day muck boots that I had gotten- they fit just perfectly, they're small enough so that they're not clunky and hard to walk in, they fit well and are easy to run in when playing with the horses, and they're light enough to jump onto the horse's back and do active stuff with them on!! Yeah! The soil is now dry enough so that I didn't sink above my ankles in mud when I stepped off of the concrete porch. Each step that I took bounced and the wind seemed to wrap around me and encourage me to dance, to be joyful. I smiled at it, laughed at it even, at it's pure joy and childish behaviors. I believe that it is good, no matter how old you are, to always act like a child at some times because without that innocent childlike goofiness, how will you ever be deep like a wise, old woman?

I ended up with this flash of a small clip of me and Cherish trotting up the hill together, her ears up and me smiling ahead. This is one of those that I get that usually DOES happen if I put the power to it, if I try... So I decided to go for it. I grabbed a halter and a 22' line, a carrot stick and a savvy string. As I walked to the fence the sun was shining in my eyes so I decided to pause every so often to shield my face. All three of my beautiful girls were standing at the fence waiting for me patiently... Or even slightly impatiently. When I reached the gate Finale was the first to greet me only because she had chased the other two away- if I went by the rule "I'll get whoever comes to me first" it would not be fair to the other two, lesser dominant horses. Finale would just be played with all the time!

After rubbing Finale and loving on her, I walked over to Hope. I stroked her a bit and then walked in under her neck to Cherish- who was looking at me softly, as she always does. I reached my hand out to her and waited for her to reach out to me, which did not take long. I stroked her a bit before offering her the halter which she took very happily. It's almost as if she proudly and gently lifts the halter onto her face as if it's a ceremonial gift every time. It's so sweet.

I walked out of the pasture with her and paused to eat grass with her as I closed the gate. Walking down the gradual slope to the backfield with my girl next to me was a beautiful thing. The light was just right for photography and the trees stood tall above our heads, keeping watch and declaring their beauty. I made a vowe to myself right then and there to use my Carrot Stick and 22' line as little as possible, to have as light a touch on the rope as I could, to have as strong as a connection as both myself and Cherish would allow. Today I was very open, very clear in my soul and in myself. I am still learning how to completely open myself all the time and leave myself open because I am so used to being reserved from people and only showing parts of myself at a time. It has been one of the more difficult things for me to accomplish but is coming along well, I believe that I'll have it down within a few days. It's taken me a couple weeks to get where I am but that's okay, sometimes things just take time. Someone else may think that sounds funny because it really ISN'T that long, but for me it is. I do everything on hyper speed when it comes to learning or doing something internally (whether emotional or mental or soulful) or accepting or understanding something new.

She was walking along with me wonderfully up the hill, following my energy just perfectly and responding to my body language however I wished her to. I think I am finally starting to really get the hang of the body language, and I have realized that the draw is not just in your body language but also in your emotions and thoughts at the moment. If you have yourself closed to the horse and you feel a bit nervous and you're thinking negative thoughts, they aren't going to want to follow you much less COME to you. No one wants to be so close to what seems like an emotional wreck to them! Plus, if you're all emotionally impulsive, how do you expect yourself to be able to lead and be in partner with a horse? HA! Because I was doing so well and so was she, I brought my energy forward in a surge. She lifted up on her hind legs and rocketed forward, but turned when I did and then slowed and collected to my body language. I was calm and my back was straight but I was carrying my weight "underneath myself" and on the "hind end" so that she would do the same. She had her back and neck rounded, she was free of tension, and she was stepping very nicely and in underneath herself. Just to see what would happen, I dropped all of my energy at once and she stopped and breathed out just like that.

We walked on together, close, and at great peace. The next time that things were a tad upset was when we had gone out of view of the other horses. It was not even until a little while after that, when I started to worry about if she would worry about being away from the other horses and hoping that walking away from them would not ruin the moment. It was just the very slightest thing that few people would have noticed, but the unsure look in her eyes came back and she began to become slightly more tense. I realized what had happened but knew that it would take a bit of retreat before both of us had lost all tension again. After getting her attention with the Carrot Stick just lightly flicking her rump (the first and only time I used it), we walked together back towards them. Once I let out a breath of relief and dropped all tension, she did so too. I realize how dependent they are on MY emotions and nerves... especially Cherish and Hope. I pointed her between a few trees that were off of the side and she looked at me, saw where my energy was leading, and walked right through them. She walked listening to me as if she were making sure that I were still safe. She was completely lacking tension and happy to be there. We were both at peace, between the trees. She slowed and then stopped moving, so I stepped ahead of her to see why she had stopped. We had walked right toward a bramble patch, at which I took the opportunity to see if my boots were really all that great. They kept the brambles out of my feet and ankles while I stomped them down to make a path, but unfortunately did not have the same affect on my upper legs, arms, and hands. Cherish walked patiently as if she understood what I was doing. I walked through the rest of the brambles and she followed me happily, as if she were peaceful but still wondered where we were going next. She was excited to have me do just this- to be one with her in her natural habitat, amongst the brambles and forests and such. This allowed both of us to take turns being leader and to take turns being partner- and I think that in a PARTNERSHIP it is important for both sides to know both roles... And then still, they can even walk WITH each other.

I led her into the pine woods, where we came across many tiny places. Surprisingly enough, I would squeeze through a small spot to create strategies on how to get her through and then the next thing I know I would look back and she would be squeezing through this tiny space that I had to crunch down to walk through. She was lifting her legs up over brambles, putting her head down, crunching her legs in underneath her so that she walked as if she were crawling, turned sideways, twisted her head and neck to where her head was sideways and squeezing through small spaces- IT WAS AMAZING. I never knew a horse could fit in such a small space, but if they have heart and desire, they can. She wanted to follow me through tiny spaces not because I asked her to, but because she wanted to. For the most part she followed and mirrored me without interference, but there were times where she would step in front of me, telling me not to go somewhere. I would then follow her through her way only to get to the other side and realize that there was a giant hole there! She knew that I was watching out for her, so in turn she was watching out for me.

We got to a place where we would not be able to go further (complete WALL of vines growing down trees) so I decided that it would be best to jump out (there is a road carved into a bit of an embankment, and the trees are on top of that embankment and stretch up the rest of the ridge). The area I had picked was steep, but I had not realized this until I was already there, so I thrust forward and landed on my feet after jumping down. Cherish jumped down right afterward, but out so that she would not run into me. When she landed, it looked like she hit her hooves hard on the gravel road in order to twist her body and avoid hitting me so I decided to let her eat on the tiny strip of grass before the drop off on the other side of the road. She enjoyed this sitting here, and so did I. With her anything seems special.

There was a steep opening that allowed us to get back into the woods another way, so I decided... Why not explore? I expected Cherish to stay but jumped and climbed a bit before reaching the more level ground and looking around the corner of some trees. There was a small opening in the trees as if a few had failed to grow, and it looked nice there. I heard hoof steps, a thud, and a few more hoof steps, and then Cherish was right next to me. She had jumped up the embankment- which was probably a good two and a half to three feet tall- to be with me. I felt so happy at the moment that I forgot about getting back down. We continued through, her helping me and me helping her navigate through brambles, sticks, fallen trees, and animal holes, until we came to an area of WAY too many brambles. I began to try to navigate through them but was only met by many spikes and a horse who advised to me not to go forward. She led me down a small path on the edge- to a fairly easy opening where each of us just had to step down a few steps. We steadied each other on the way down before landing on the gravel road and resting on the other side. She had the most serene look in her eyes, one that I so much enjoy after knowing the look that she had when she originally came here. Looking back we have gotten ten thousand times farther than she was. I say "we" and "she" because when she arrived at home, she was not confident enough to be my partner... compared to the connection we have now, I think that is amazing. She is no longer she and I am no longer I, but we are we.... together.

We took a nice walk back down to the barn, where I let her loose in the barnyard to eat grass. She stayed very close as I spoke to my mom about how my day with her had gone. She smiled the whole time I excitedly explained, and Cherish stood near, joyful and peaceful as ever.

Today cannot be described as good..... It was amazing.