A Learning Way

Julia:

"Your horse is a mirror to your soul. Sometimes you might not like what you see...Sometimes you will." -Buck Brannaman

 Do you agree? Is Sharlie a reflection of my soul? Who does Finale reflect? Is it possible it is the other way around and we reflect our horses as well?

My answer:

For the last one, it's complicated and simple. It is and isn't true. It's not that I think that the horse can't be, and it's not that I think that it is. The horse can be a reflection to your soul, but is not always. Finale and Cherish, although reflections, are different. The horse will show you who you are in their own way simply because they are each different individuals. They are all different and cannot be expected to show you and every aspect of you. They each do it differently. (Added: I have known, on occasion when the horse thinks it absolutely necessary, to show a person EXACTLY who they are, because they know that the person needs it) And yes, Sharlie is. The horse reflects you not as a whole, and not all the time - they do it while you are with them. they will show you what they do and do not like about you. (Added: If the person is extremely nervous and teaches the horse to mirror you or trains the horse their self, they can make the horse a very nervous horse. The horse will mirror people, but not always in the positive way. If the person is extremely angry, the horse will, in turn, become more aggressive in the pasture. You will see the horse beginning to mirror the more extremes even when a person isn't there. But also, if the person is an aggressive person, the horse could become an extremely nervous horse. It all really depends upon how the horse reflects the person, and who they are as an individual.) They do not always show it so accurately - but they will show you when they think that something is not quite as it should be - when it is distracted, distorted, and scattered, etc. Example, Cherish does not like Orie, but she doesn't quite mind Greg. (Our farriers) Finale doesn't like Greg, but she doesn't mind Orie. I think it really just depends upon what each horse sees in each person, and the traits that they like or don't like. (Yes! Horses have opinions!) EAch horse can teach you something different about yourself. They all have something to offer.

A Learning Way

Julia:

What is being more sensitive? What does it involve? How does one get there? Advantages/disadvantages? What about those who are becoming more sensitive but are feeling alone or lost?

My answer:

Becoming more sensitive is something that you have to find on your own. I cannot help you. It is so personal a thing that it should not be written about [in detail] because it will be different for every person.


For those becoming more sensitive but feeling alone or lost, they will have to see. It is something that, like aI said above, is a personal journey [and usually attained in young age, even if kept subconscious for many years] and that I really cannot help unless I were to see and feel the individual person. They would have to allow me to feel and see them first though, rather than being closed and lost... And they would simply have to learn enough until they realized that they were not lost. I could help the individual a little bit, but only up to a certain point.


(Added)


For each person, for each individual, the most important thing is not the help that I can give them, but really just a special friendship. The only thing that I could really offer anyone would be love and kinship, but I could only really offer them that if I chose to.


Being more sensitive, in general, is feeling, seeing, and hearing. It is knowing who you are and being able to notice and truly feel all of the small things. It is being able to look into something and say "Ahh... what beautiful memories held there." even if they are not yours. It is being able to look into someone and say "Dear, it will be alright." and know in general, if not exactly and in detail, what is wrong... Or knowing enough by looking into the person not to say that, but something else. It is being able to be comfortable enough in your own skin and in your own eyes to see things such as. But not everyone is sensitive. Not everyone can become so.


One gets there, like I said above, on their own person journey. For me, it started mainly in small things - in enjoying things that most people wouldn't notice. In dreams as well. All kinds of things. Learning from small things that most people wouldn't even notice. 


There are no true advantages and disadvantages to being sensitive, because you learn that nothing is truly "good" or truly "bad". It is all mixed and all beautiful. What you find in it is your own sight.

A Learning Way

Julia:

Becoming more expressive: What do you mean by this? What is a good example?  How can we become more expressive? Why would we want to become more expressive? How is this related to becoming more sensitive?

My answer:
Yes! Becoming more expressive! Oh, there are a thousand ways that you can show that you are becoming more expressive dear, but there are only a few ways that you are. Expressive, is expression. How do you become more expressive? Really, you just have to know who you are. For so many years, I have not been expressive, but I am finally ready to become so. ... Expressive is not jus through clothing, but through your facial and physical expressions as well. [and the general expressiveness that you allow your self to have. expressions let your self shine through - true expression anyway]  It allows you to be who you are on the outside without being afraid. Sure, when you are first becoming expressive, you may be afraid, [even petrified, as I have found myself sometimes] but after a while it becomes something that you fully dive into and love. It is something that is absolutely wonderful, and that you can't help but never come out of. Why wouldn't you want to become more expressive? Expression is beautiful, freeing, and absolutely wonderful. People who are expressive are absolutely joyful. Expression doesn't just come in clothing though, it also comes in art, in how you live your life, in how you see your day, in how you approach people. It is absolutely beautiful. And I love it. [Expression can be sad as well.] You don't necessarily have to be sensitive in order to be expressive, and it doesn't necessarily go hand in hand, but usually when you become more sensitive [if you do] you will eventually become more expressive. However, this is only if you recognize your sensitivity and allow it to shine. [and if you have it] If you simply have it, but trap it, you have very little chance of  becoming expressive, and you will continue to be more closed and "organized" than anything else. What do I mean by organized? Well, your art will be well planned out and there may even be dark lines on it, your music will have something missing from it that most people don't notice, your clothes will be fairly normal for you with all the same basic thing (example: my years of t-shirts and shorts together, and only that, shows how I have not been expressive for so long)... etc. But remember, expression is so much more than that. And for me to truly be able to get you to understand, I would have to let you see [feel] it first. Or you would have to find it.

A Learning Way

Julia:


A lot of horse people nowadays keep saying "What if?" when playing with their horses (including me!) What do you think of the power of 'What if...' ? Can it be used for good or is it just a negative thing?


My answer:

The power of "What if?" is very strong. It implies not only "what if?" but your general way of thought and your thought processes. If you can say to yourself, or if you simply and already do, say "I can!" then you're already winning. With the mindset of terrible and tragic things, your ride or your time with your horse is most likely going to be not as you hoped. 


Take, for example, the way that I typically look at my life. I know that I will always be involved with horses. I know that, at one point, I would love to have a ranch, but that that is not what really matters. What matters to me is that I do something that I love for a job, that I can have or be with a horse that is very special to me, and that I am completely spontaneous and enjoy my life fully. I know that as I grow up and have my own money, I will have my own unique style. I know that i may have to give away my horses a couple of times, but I know that they will go to great homes. I know that my life will be the best it can be simply because I am hapy with just about any way it is, as long as I am joyful. And how would I be joyful? By simply knowing that I was.


The human mind is extremely powerful in their life. If you think that your life is bad, it is. If you think that your life is good, it is. There is a man that goes to the church that my mom goes to and works there as a janitor/handi-man. He rarely gets to stop and listen to the services because he always has so much work to do. His name is Lionel. He has another job as well. whenever you approach him, he runs to you with a huge smile and throws his arms out to hug you. He says, "Mornin, mornin, mornin..." with the largest smile you've ever seen on a man. he proceeds to say that he loves you so much several times, that you are a joy to his eyes, and when you ask him how he's doing, this is what he says: "Oh, honey, work is never done, work is never done, but that's how the Lord placed me in the world, and that's how I like it. It's a beautiful day dear, a beautiful day, and boy, do I feel like singing." Lionel is not rich. He does not have family. I'm not even sure if he has a house, because he may just have living quarters in the church. But Lionel is happy. Lionel loves where he is. And quite frankly, Lionel is one of the most beautiful people I have ever met.


Going by this, we are safe to say that your outlook on life, and on everything, most definitely does affect your life. Lionel never thinks that work is too much, and Lionel never believes that he should be somewhere else in life. He is happy where he is. If you are constantly saying to yourself, "What if... this happens and it all goes wrong?" It will definitely all go wrong, but maybe not the way you thought that it would. Your inner self will become more and more nervous, more and more negative, and over time, you will become more and more withdrawn from yourself. Your self is beautiful, and you need to live it to the fullest! It is all that you need to do... And "What ifs" are not always bad.... You could say to yourself, "What if I could do this?" But the important thing is, is that it'snot the just what if that matters. It's the fact that you ask yourself, you know that you can, and you have faith that with YOU as the guide of your life, with some help from others (and if you are spiritual/religious, whoever your leader is) along the way, it will happen.

A Learning Way

Julia:

The horse reflects the human and the human reflects the horse. With joy, anger, tension, emotions, memories...? (By adding a question mark to the end, I am asking for your reflection on that and your comment.)

My answer:

Remember Julia, always listen to and learn from your horse.

This can happen often times.......BUT........it's different. Typically, horses only mirror people's emotions when they are trying to send them a message. If you understand your horse and you can hear your horse and listen to your horse, and you are feeling some emotion, most likely you will also be fairly balanced. It seems like all of these things pretty much go hand in hand with animals. It is mainly the unbalanced and distorted or hidden emotions that make the horse show you something. If you are frustrated, and acting as if you are, but you are truly nervous in underneath out of complete and utter fear, the horse will show you the complete and utter fear that you hold, and will also become slightly nervous itself. Horses have this thing that tells them not to trust anything that denies its true emotions - because these creatures tend to be very unpredictable and taunting. They think they're on top, and that they know all through logic and that they can conquer all through simple means - and that is exactly the problem with humans.

Tension is something that results from distorted, unbalanced, or hidden emotions. If you are nervous, you can still be nervous and hold no tension. Sometimes I become nervous, but never do I become tense. this is because I am completely truthful with myself about my nervousness, the gravity and weight of it, why I'm nervous, and how long it's been there..... etc etc. You will only gain tension from having facades and whatnot and being unbalanced. Tension is created from incongruent "innerds", as Ray Hunt would say, of the human.

Adding more...

As you can see from the picture above, this horse and person most definitely have emotions of their own. The girl is very quiet, but waiting for the horse nonetheless. She wants to gain friendship of the horse, and by lowering her head acknowledges, accepts, and admits her small self. Yes, she is humble - something that is often thought of as terrible, even by the kindest of horsemen, for its lack of dominance and hierarchy. I am sure we have all witnessed at least one instance in our lives where a tall man enters a field of horses, and sends them all scattering, especially the one he is seeking out to train or ride... once he gives up, a small person (whether small adult or child) who is very gentle and kind will enter the paddock. They will sit or stand, not waiting for the horses to approach but simply enjoying the beauty of watching them. Soon, the horses will be around them, happy for the company. Even the horse who seemed to run away, so terrified, will approach this gentle person happily.

And here we see that not only do horses read emotions extremely easily, but intentions as well. Horses may join with you and share your emotion if they think best - but they may also do something else. If they themselves are not sure what to do, they will without a doubt take off of the tension and emotions of the humans and horses around them. Why do you think that often, the young horses are trained to be ponied by an older, more experienced horse before they ever learn to accept a rider, or in many cases are simply backed, because it seems that very few people actually care whether or not the horse truly accepts. This Arabian - a breed that is often associated with being hot, scattered, and flighty - is quietly snuffling this small girl's face. And it makes us stop and wonder - is it the horse? Or is it the person?

We always have to be paying attention and listening - both to ourselves, our horse, and the world.

A Learning Way

Julia:


What is dancing with horses to you?

My answer:


To me, dancing with horses is complete freedom. It is not having any thought or holding back. It is your dance and the horse's dance mixed together. It is movement without thought or time or stress. It is complete lightness, connection, and expression. It is letting go while holding on. It is being in the moment completely, but with another being. It is having strength in both of you and being able to do everything you feel like without holding back. Truly, more than anything, it is letting both of your spirits fly together and letting the physical play out because of the spirit and the soul of the two mixing together.
One day, I will dance with horses.

My continuation:


Dancing with horses will never be so much about the technique, but more about the dance itself. It is a very graceful thing, the dance with horses, but it is also very interpersonal. You would have to be able to know your self so well, and to know your horse so well - but not just by personalities. You would need to go deeper than soul-level with your horse, and be able to truly connect. Connection is one of the first steps for being able to dance - but before then, we have to be able to be quiet. And listen.

To dance with horses would mean that you are already free.

Julia:

"Don't be afraid to connect, but don't wish to connect so hastily that you toss it away.

Care to explain in more detail please?

My answer:

Hehe. This is just about being not so unsure about yoruself, because you can connect. But not wishing so much, because connecting is something that comes. If you wish for it too much, it goes away. Connecting is connecting. In mind, heart, soul, and body. It is where you touch each other's heart with hand and hoof, yet when you do not join because you are still two distinct, independent, beautiful beings.

My continuation:

With this "connection" that I speak of, you can do almost anything with the horse - but the moment that you expect your horse to do everything you wish through connection, you have already failed, because you have taken away your recognition of your horse's independence.

A Learning Way

Julia:

Rider Attitude. "I strongly believe that a rider's attitude is more important than his or her raw skill. The best technical rider in the world will limit a horse's potential if his or her attitude doesn't recognize and honor the horse's individuality or isn't flexible enough to work with the horse." -Linda Tellington-Jones

What is your opinion of a rider's attitude?

My answer:

My opinion of a rider's attitude, or any person even just being with a horse, makes a huge amount of difference. I think it does go deeper than attitude though - it's not just the emotions that you're feeling as the present, in response to something, but it also matters who you are and how all of the levels of your emotions are. (Example) Chuck (someone I know) met a lady who had horses, and abruptly asked to meet them. He has recently found a love for them, not riding them, just being with them, stroking them, and walking around with them - which is just fine. The woman took him to the horses, but warned him not to count on one of them coming up, as it had been abused by men and hated all of them, and bit and struck people "randomly" when they weren't doing anything. He said, "Oh that's fine, we'll see." When he approached the fence, one of the horses galloped over to him, stuck its head in his hand, and nickered at him over and over, then began to lightly touch him all over with his nose, just ever so carefully pressing it against his cheeks, the top of his head, his shoulders, his arms.... As if he were kissing him. Chuck giggled to himself, then turned to the woman and asked if this was one of her friendlier horses. She stood, dumbstruck. She responded that that was the horse who would not stand to be touched, who hated men, who bit people and struck them. Chuck is an amazingly happy man, who lets his emotions come fairly freely and has a humorous outlook on life. He does laugh a lot, he loves to make people happy, and he's like a big hilarious teddy bear. The horse loved him because of who he was and how he looked at life. In comparison, I have met "professional" trainers whose horses will run away from them, strike out at them, and find anyway to get away from them or make them miserable even when they are known for their soft nature around children. These people are typically either very cold or very distorted - "incongruent" in their emotions, as Linda Kohanov would say. They typically only want to take advantage of both the horse and person involved.


Adding more... We have to remember that certain horses will respond to upset and unbalanced emotions or people in different ways. Typically, the more large and dominant you try to be, the more the horses will try to avoid you. When you embrace your emotions as you feel them, and you recognize that in comparison, you are a very fragile creature, and most of all, you don't wish to take advantage of the horse but to be with them... The horse will readily accept your company.


I have watched many people fall when they start to worry if they will fall... Or have even had horses run off with me, but only when I begin to worry of whether or not they won't. It's not what I'm worrying about that makes them do exactly that, it is the building fear and irritation at myself that will help the horse to run away from all of my tumbling emotions. I have been fortunate enough to experience the tumbling feelings of emotions of people first hand, and it's never too pretty if they just continue on and let it get worse, or the most terrible ...trying to hide it and shrink it into a little box. The more open we are with ourselves, the more open the horse will become with us.

A Learning Way

Julia:

What is body language?

My answer:

Body language is something that can be very exaggerated or very precise. It shows the emotion and energy which we carry and just further increases the connection - especially when it's always consist and completely pure. It shows whether we are stressed, emotionally pressured, or whether we have been beaten (metaphorically and literally). It shows scars, inward and outward, and freedoms, also in and out. It connects the inner world with the outer world. [especially for those who need help doing so] Body language further encourages you to have a conversation with your horse. It ends up with extreme lightness, with everything of soft, of joy, and is the reflection of what is inside. Your body language should be just as truthful as your emotions are. If you are so joyful and excited that you feel the instant need to run, do so! If you are sad, don't be ashamed to sit on the ground and slump your shoulders and cry. Body language is not just a signal, but an expression. [of who we are and how we feel inside]

A big part of showing gratitude and independence that both my horse and I share is not scratches or treats as said previously, but giving them just as much freedom and leadership as I have. I never try to "dominate" my horses - dominating in the traditional way or even the natural way is damaging to both you,your horse, and the relationship and connection between you. No, instead of dominate, I wish to share. Never do my horses try to overpower me because they have no reason to. We have a mutual respect, a shared independence, and they can leave at any time. None of it is personal if they leave - it does not hurt my feelings. If they pin their ears, they are simply showing me something that I had not noticed at the subtler phase - but I can't remember the last time that happened. [I wrote that before this morning - if you want to see the story behind it, go to Day 13.] If you truly listen to the quiet whispers of your horse, through body language and connection, there will be no reason for it to get to that point. You will have such understanding for each other that you will only need a rope for safety or for your own confidence. Once you are confident enough to change to liberty, it will already be there. I allow myself to have complete freedom with my horse, and in turn my horses have complete freedom. [giving it to me as well.] I allow myself to have complete balance of emotions. But what is balance of emotions? Balance of emotions is not being happy or calm or excited [etc] all the time - it is simply allowing yourself to feel every emotion that comes up. I allow myself freedom of movement, of heart, of soul, of emotion, of thought, of feel, of connection, of space....... Everything. With my freedom, there is not question that the horse would have it or not. Just allow it to happen, allow yourself to be spontaneous at the first wish from you. Have trust in yourself. You may be better than you think.

[I am not claiming that I am able to grasp this all the time - in fact, I am just as human as any of you, and I do screw up on occasion. But this is what I am when I allow myself to flow - free. And my horses are, in turn, fre as well. You can tell the difference.]

I also have to say something about verbal commands or comments other than simply speaking with your horse to help you to do it connectively, admitting something to them and yourself, or thanking them. When you scold yoru horse verbally, you are often not actually aggravated at your horse - you are aggravated at yourself, nervous, frustrated at the situation or your lack of knowledge, or just done for the day. If something is bothering you, you never scold your horse - this just further makes it worse. Not because you scolded, but because in the scolding, you completely denied yourself of feeling your emotion that actually means something. The meaning behind your emotion. Also, when you tell your horse to trot.... Your horse already knows how to trot without your rambling mouth of your literal mouth or your mental mouth. The more you allow your literal mouth, the more likely you are actually to have frizzled thoughts. If you just quietly and calmly ask for it while connected, and then use slight body language, and then slowly further ..... your horse will be very appreciative. Horses are quiet creatures for a reason. They are speakers only to those who listen and listeners more to those who are willing to listen rather than those who speak jibber jabber constantly.

What else was I going to say...

Oh! Yes! Body language. More about it.

Body language is not repeated movements. Body language is not the Driving Game, and it's not constant tapping or asking. It's not the porcupine game. It is the gestures and expressions you make to the horse through your physical body. There is truly only use in body language if you have the correct emotion and feeling behind it. If you're asking your horse to move over, and you are nervous and unsure about your asking, they won't do it. YOu always must be confident, calm, quiet, and unquestioning of your own leadership - or it will not work. And how do you do that? Sometimes, all you have to do is to let your horse be the leader first. You have to listen. The more you become confident in their leadership, themore you may borrow their confidence and then [eventually develop the capacity to] become confident in yours.

A Learning Way

Julia:


Why do you not use treats to train horses? Are there exceptions?

Kara:


I don't use treats to train my horses because my main focus is the connection, the relationship, the friendship, the quality of my inner "horsechild" and my self at the moment. Even though people say that it is okay to use treats as an incentive and not as a bribe, I still would not use them for my own horses. To give horses incentive by treats is, to them, very shallow. I will try and explain all of the reasons that I do not like treats fairly organized, but no promises. To connect and let them feel your true thanks, pride, and joy of the connection with each other, the true freedom that comes from it (if there) is far better than giving them a treat to "reward" your horse. This is similar to having a child do something and giving them a piece of candy or a sticker without any other type of recognition. Let's say the child has just saved a butterfly from a cat, and you

A Learning Way

Julia:

What are emotions in humans vs. horses or plants? 

My answer:

All animals have different levels of emotions. All creatures, really. Emotions go extremely deeply. Extremely. You can only really learn the depth of it as you experience it more. Humans tend to have very shallow emotions, very flat emotions - but they have the ability to have much deeper emotions though, because it has been bred again and again to not have deeper emotions. I do believe that it is partially genetics, and partially your soul, and partially your fate and you rmeaning for life. As it begins to become necessary to become sensitive, you will..... unless you were born without the capacity to. Unfortunately, there are people who are like so. It is extremely unfortunate. But true. [One of my theories for the reasons is this: the ancient people only had some medicine men and shaman, some sorcerers, who were all extremely extremely sensitive. Then they had a lot of warriors, which were very sensitive. Then they had artists, who were sensitive. Then they had farmers, who weren't. Another theory that I have is that over time, as it has become more and more unacceptable for somebody to be sensitive, it has become a trait to breed the lack of sensitivity within humans

A Learning Way

Julia:

What are emotions?

My answer:

Emotions are very beautiful. They can be clear or unclear. There is no set definition of emotions. An emotion is something that is connected through all, but really, to connect them, there is something else. I may as well call it "energy". Let's say this "energy can connect all emotions. But not only can it connect emotions - it also connects thoughts, pictures, feelings, etc. Emotions are really just a small part of it, something that a living creature holds... OR something that a living creature has impressed upon a nonliving thing. These impressed upon emotions are what I tend to call "shadow emotions" because they are a shadow of a time of the creature that left it there. This is why some houses are easier to sell than others: some may be filled with joy, while others had been filled with complete chaos when they were lived in previously. Houses, buildings, art, etc can also take on the emotion or the feeling of the person who created it.

I still didn't explain what emotions are... Hmm.... They hold memories within them, the emotions. They are feelings and... hmm... Let me break this into categories.

[I went on to break it in to categories for Julia, but I really didn't like those, because emotions are not something that you should consciously break into categories. They are abstract, and beautiful the way they are. There's no reason to classify or organize them. And that's that.]

but it is better not to hide any of the emotions from you. Really, they are all emotions. There are differences between [them all] though. But these are only the very simple [categories]. You can never put emotions into a logical thing. They are very abstract things, and it is better that you learn what they are yourself so that you understand them better.