"Don't ever use something until you don't have to."
I have been studying and applying my use of body language for the past few weeks, with as little as the rope and carrot stick as possible. I have only used the 22' line to ensure that she has plenty of room to move if you wants it, but so far she has not needed the full rope. If you have been reading my blog, you know that I have been playing with Finale and will continue to focus on her during the spring and summer (and most likely will continue playing with her after that as well). So how do I go about training her, as she has only been ridden once before...
I am teaching her On Line, very loose lead line, first. I will then move to a cordeo rope around her neck On Line instead of a halter. I am either going to purchase a 22' feather line or a 30' role of the same rope from Samson rope... If it is the same weight as the savvy string, I may want to go just a smidgen larger, but maybe not. I do want to put a very light ring and snap on it, kind of like on the older 22' line if that were to work out. I have gotten her to the point of where she walks, stops, backs up, and turns all with only very subtle body language and anywhere within 20-21' On Line (because there's always slack in the rope) and probably within 20' at Liberty if I keep my self presence, energy, and body language all right. Getting those three things to flow beautifully and completely for a prolonged amount of time is something that I'm still working on, but it's coming along well. I don't really plan to do the seven games in order but instead be as fun and creative as she needs me to be and teach her step by step along the way as I feel necessary. So far it has worked really well, as long as I keep my own little philosophy, mental notes of thought, mental notes of teacher's words and insight, etc, intact. So far she is extremely light and already very close to me. She has progressed so much in the last two weeks or so.
With the cordeo rope, I plan not to have a stiff or leather rope like many people do but instead use the Samson rope (gosh, I love that stuff!) with a size that is slightly larger in circumference than the savvy string but slightly smaller in circumference than the 12' and 22' lines. I want something that is nicely in the middle, if possible. I am then going to splice both ends and attach an adjustable leather piece at the top with the splices. This will have a small (stiff) piece of cloth-ish material on it with a ring attached to it. From the ring, I will be able to attach either a longer handle or for On Line, a lead line.
Once I get her to the point of where we can do Liberty in a fairly large area without her leaving me and On Line with only the cordeo rope and the feather line out in the open field without her leaving me, I think she will be ready to be ridden. I realize that this may take a while but I want her to be completely in tune to my body language and I want to make sure that I have my body language in tune to her before I even think of riding her. I plan on training her to be ridden with only the cordeo rope as a back up and mainly body language. This will make for nice, subtle aids.
As for Cherish, no worries, I am still playing with her, just not as much as I used to. I think it is almost better to have less but more meaningful sessions with her. "Less is more." She quite enjoys just being with me, doing nothing, going for a walk, and then she might be in the mood to really play. I think that before, I was too ambitious with her too often. Shame on me... she just wants someone she can trust. I was always wondering why she trusts me more freestyle than she does on line. It is because at freestyle, I mosey with her. On line, I want to PLAY PLAY PLAY!, even if not that much. Finale loves to PLAY PLAY PLAY! but it does not do much good for Cherish. Now that I have realized this (duh, why didn't I figure it out sooner?) I do take my time with her much more and still use my very light aids with her. I don't care if we never accomplish anything, as long as we have a good time.
The playground: The tire is out there, and we are going to get soil or sand to put on top of the poop that we filled it with. I have already cleared an area to put our wooden pedestal that we made with plans from www.savvystation.com We are going to paint it tomorrow. The next thing I want to do is shovel an area for that squeeze thing that Julia came up with and maybe ask around for logs or put an ad in the Tennessee Trader for logs. Lately I have been noticing really nice logs on the sides of the roads... "Mom, look, they have logs they're not using!!" She's probably sick of hearing that oh so hopeful voice now. Her question is always.... "They're huge, how would we ever get them home?" Humph. But there's grass growing in the pastures at least! I see green!
I believe that is all for now. I will continue to update on how Finale is doing, so far she is doing absolutely WONDERFUL. I also need to take the time to write in my preferred style on my blog... Hmm.... Where does the time go?
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
The Last Few Days...
Have been magical. I have been playing with Finale every day and let me tell you, she is one special horse. I have never really interacted with her before but even within the last few days we have formed a bond. She now moves to the subtlest signals with my body language... we are mastering everything at the walk. I have let the play sessions be short, but meditative, so that I do not overdo it. Nonetheless, I have had great fun with her and our liberty is already good at the walk. I have not tried to trot her yet because I want to "master" the walk first... because it is the stepping stone to everything else.
As I play more and more with Finale, I realize more and more how absolutely distant Cherish is- and probably more so than I would have liked to previously admit. She still has a bond with me, still enjoys being with me, and we can still have good times, but she is so... distant from people, even so. If I spend a lot of undemanding time with her, she will warm up to me after a bit and then she is very warm but it takes every time. I have decided that instead of trying to reach great heights with her, I will just be with her every time I go out there and "play it by ear" so to speak.
To tell the truth, I had expected Finale to be sort of a project to where I would train her to be ridden at Freestyle nicely after doing On Line, and then turn her over to my mom and let her enjoy playing with her. Little did I know how amazing she was. I just love that girl. She doesn't really fit into any of the "Horsenalities" on the horsenality charts because she's just so soft, so bright, and just wants to be with you and please you. I guess you would call that a "LBE" in mild form, but she's not too apt to go, she just loves to be with humans. I will have to say, I don't think that my first post on "Focusing on Finale" exactly hit it off right. I have taken her as my special girl now... That is not at all eliminating Cherish, but I didn't know that I would have room enough for two horses in my life, much less in my heart. I was wrong.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
A message for all to hear.
You're beautiful. I don't care who you are, I don't care who you aren't, I don't care who you should be or would be or could be or have been or will be. You are who you are, and you are beautiful. You are there, whether hidden from yourself or not, and you are beautiful. Someone out there loves your smile, someone out there can't stand to see you cry, someone out there would be devastated if you died. Humans fail to see this day in, day out, that you yourself are beautiful and there is no one who can change that or take that. You are beautiful. Why? Your anger, your sadness, your frustration, your fear, is not who you are, not deep down inside. You are beautiful in and of yourself, no matter if you hide. You are beautiful and no one can take that from you, even if you try. You're beautiful. Chin up, dear friends, for I have a message to whisper in your ear: You're beautiful. I hope everyone hears. There is no place you can go to hide, your self is always there, always with you, always in the air. There are few who may see you when you hide, yet still those few know that you are beautiful. Cover ups of emotions, of present time, of longings and wishes never answered, of dreams never found, dust that's on top of the mirror glass, none of that matters, because you in and of your self are beautiful. There is no way to hide. I see you in there, you're beautiful. One day you'll come out and shine.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
My weekend was good, in fact, amazing.
On Friday we went and picked up Trevor and Julia. Trevor is my brother Kyle's little friend, both of who are extremely extroverted. When we got home, Julia gave me a charm bracelet which I absolutely love. I wouldn't typically like jewelry, but it is so meaningful and metaphoric and beautiful. Each charm means something and symbolizes a part of me or who I am. Thank you Julia, for a beautiful reminder to be myself... You are the first person who has been able to get an idea of who I really am and what I stand for.
On Saturday morning I woke up at 7:13 to see screaming, joyful little boys who hadn't slept all night in the living room (just outside my room). I was able to finish my coffee by the time Julia woke up at 7:30, I am assuming also due to the sound of the ecstatic (over nothing) boys. They were so happy to just be with each other- Trevor used to live down the street from us in Greenville, South Carolina and now he lives in Atlanta, Georgia and we live in Tennessee. Julia stepped out of the room with sleep still in her eyes, and thankfully due to my coffee I was already starting to lose that sleepy look.
Giving the horses their morning hay was very peaceful. I fully enjoyed just standing with them, being able to enjoy the time with Julia there as well. The morning was beautiful and bright without any reason to feel anything but joy. The energy from everything just let out immense joy and peace and there were no extra noises besides those natural because no cars were passing. Even if they had been, it would not have mattered- the day was so beautiful that it overpowered all of that.
When I went to give Julia her lesson, I noticed almost immediately what was wrong. When she got into the mindset that she was going to play with the horses, she was so worried about her energy versus theirs and what they felt about the situation that she scattered, hid, and shut off parts of her self presence. In order to understand self presence I think you have to be more conscious of it... But I will try to explain it as best I can without using any of my examples with the world around me that I did.
The way that I think of self presence may be different than everyone else's, so bear with me. I created this idea by myself from what I have found in life and in horses. Self presence is something that only you can find in yourself, that no one else can find for you. It is not your soul, your being, or your character, but how you carry your full self. What do I mean by this? Well... How much of yourself do you allow your conscious self to see or accept? You would be amazed how many people hide their self or pieces of their self from themselves. I believe that this is a horrible thing, because it seems to cause the minimizing of self presence as you grow older... This is of course for most people. There are some people that I have known whose self presence has grown over the years, and I have been fortunate enough to know a few of them. Unfortunately most of them are older- whether it is that they grew extremely in their older age, or that the newer generation has more and more "popular group" type deals, I don't know. I assume it could probably be both. Back to what self presence is: how much of your self you allow to show. When you have the extent of your self presence, you feel joy and peace and freedom. I feel that the extent you can have may grow if you allow it to over time, or even possibly very quickly. Many people only allow their self presence to grow or decline over a long amount of time. Like I said, self presence makes you feel a certain way and in effect can be described as living completely in the moment, freely in the moment, independent of any ties and with yourself completely. You feel so free because you are not hiding any of your self from yourself or anyone else. You are allowing your self to be seen by all intuitive enough to see you and are... Dare I repeat myself, completely freeing everything inside of you!
I also spoke of optimism and not being frustrated. Being frustrated is the poison to everything, and the more we become frustrated the more pressure we feel from everything and from ourselves. It is a terrible thing, being frustrated, and creates a whole downward cycle of... pain.
We laid in the dirt, enjoyed ourselves, played with Cherish, did Horsenality simulations, and were complete goofs. In order to be full of self, I believe that you have to let all of your self shine- and that includes your goofy side! This is a side that so many people neglect or bring about in the wrong ways, with crude jokes or making fun of people. This is not the way to please your goofy need, nor will it ever be for anyone. This would only create more need for goofiness in your life, which would then go into a downward cycle of more jokes, more crude jokes, more crude jokes, more making fun... etc. In order to be truly happy you have to be able to tap into your original child, your goofy innocence. It is a wonderful thing, being like a child. So many people abandon that childish nature, even though it is so beautiful.
Near the end of our play session, just as we were about to go inside for some lunch, a man rode up our driveway on his horse. His horse had a hollow back, appeared to be young and of gaiting breed but not yet properly trained to gait. The horse actually looked as if he were in a lot of pain. We walked up to him and he asked us if there were any trails around in the area, but unfortunately I was not able to give him much information. As he left, he ran his horse all the way down the asphalt- what a shame. The man could barely even keep his horse still while he was stopped and talking to us, pulling back on his mouth all the way. It was probably all he could do to keep him in a controlled gallop as he went back down the road. I am so glad that we treat the horses the way we do...
We went and ate lunch after that, where we enjoyed the breeze on the deck. It was a bit chilly but nice and I enjoyed overlooking the land, as I always do. The view from up there is so beautiful, and I could imagine almost anything. It felt like a dream.
After lunch we read some horse stuff for a bit before going back outside and taking Hope and Finale for a walk. It was a beautiful day but I noticed that neither of them think of us as complete leaders, but I will be working on this in the future. Thankfully Klaus Hempfling has brought up many valid and useful pieces of information in his book, Dancing With Horses. I have enjoyed it to the fullest and plan on taking German now during high school just so that I can read more of his books because there are only three translated into English. I love his way of thinking because it fits right in with mine and he often opens many more details than I have been... introduced to. They are all details that I have begun to think of by myself, but that he only builds on and opens even more of my mind to new things with if I have not yet come across one of those ideas. I thrive in the world of his thinking, so you can imagine that I want to get as much as I can from him.
I really enjoyed just sitting on the tire with her.... Finale and Hope stood near by and Sarge rolled on top of us, on our laps, in the grass, eating weeds.... Just being the wonderful child he is. I don't think he will ever really grow up in his nature, but I do not mind this at all. I think that it is a wonderful quality for a dog to have.
I really cannot think of anything else to say, so I will just say that... I am happy. [:
Friday, February 18, 2011
Finale
I have decided to focus on her (Finale) for the next few months. I will let you guys know how it is going. I would eventually like for her to be solid at Freestyle, not necessarily with the Carrot Sticks or anything, but just having fun. Finale is the type of horse that wants to make you happy, wants you to be content, wants to have fun, wants to be your FRIEND. Because of this easy going "I want to be your friend, your buddy, and have calm fun with you" I know that she will never be real motivated to learn subtle, subtle aids. She is not the type of horse who searches for perfection, but instead the type of horse who searches for calm content with a human, any human. With this in mind I have decided to take it easy, make it fun, keep it calm, and just enjoy every moment with her. I have looked at Finale's build before and thought "Oh, what a nice dressage horse she would make if..." because of her rounded back and neck, her natural tendency to tuck herself in underneath herself and move out.... but I know that that is not what she wants.
Every horse has their own goals, their own dreams, their own places that they want to get. They will share them with you if you listen well enough.
Every horse has their own goals, their own dreams, their own places that they want to get. They will share them with you if you listen well enough.
Monday, February 14, 2011
I arrived home completely exhausted so I decided I would rest for about thirty minutes before heading out with the horses. I attempted to work some on my project that I'm doing for a friend but couldn't concentrate enough to write. I tried to read some of the book my mom gave me today, "The Tao of Equus" by Linda Kohanov but my eyes weren't really adjusting to the type on the page. I decided to check my email from Julia and ended up writing her a much more elaborate one than she had originally written me... And the dreams flooding into my head made me alive [: My dad stepped into the house just as I went bounding down the stairs to go play with the horses.
I put on my Valentine's Day muck boots that I had gotten- they fit just perfectly, they're small enough so that they're not clunky and hard to walk in, they fit well and are easy to run in when playing with the horses, and they're light enough to jump onto the horse's back and do active stuff with them on!! Yeah! The soil is now dry enough so that I didn't sink above my ankles in mud when I stepped off of the concrete porch. Each step that I took bounced and the wind seemed to wrap around me and encourage me to dance, to be joyful. I smiled at it, laughed at it even, at it's pure joy and childish behaviors. I believe that it is good, no matter how old you are, to always act like a child at some times because without that innocent childlike goofiness, how will you ever be deep like a wise, old woman?
I ended up with this flash of a small clip of me and Cherish trotting up the hill together, her ears up and me smiling ahead. This is one of those that I get that usually DOES happen if I put the power to it, if I try... So I decided to go for it. I grabbed a halter and a 22' line, a carrot stick and a savvy string. As I walked to the fence the sun was shining in my eyes so I decided to pause every so often to shield my face. All three of my beautiful girls were standing at the fence waiting for me patiently... Or even slightly impatiently. When I reached the gate Finale was the first to greet me only because she had chased the other two away- if I went by the rule "I'll get whoever comes to me first" it would not be fair to the other two, lesser dominant horses. Finale would just be played with all the time!
After rubbing Finale and loving on her, I walked over to Hope. I stroked her a bit and then walked in under her neck to Cherish- who was looking at me softly, as she always does. I reached my hand out to her and waited for her to reach out to me, which did not take long. I stroked her a bit before offering her the halter which she took very happily. It's almost as if she proudly and gently lifts the halter onto her face as if it's a ceremonial gift every time. It's so sweet.
I walked out of the pasture with her and paused to eat grass with her as I closed the gate. Walking down the gradual slope to the backfield with my girl next to me was a beautiful thing. The light was just right for photography and the trees stood tall above our heads, keeping watch and declaring their beauty. I made a vowe to myself right then and there to use my Carrot Stick and 22' line as little as possible, to have as light a touch on the rope as I could, to have as strong as a connection as both myself and Cherish would allow. Today I was very open, very clear in my soul and in myself. I am still learning how to completely open myself all the time and leave myself open because I am so used to being reserved from people and only showing parts of myself at a time. It has been one of the more difficult things for me to accomplish but is coming along well, I believe that I'll have it down within a few days. It's taken me a couple weeks to get where I am but that's okay, sometimes things just take time. Someone else may think that sounds funny because it really ISN'T that long, but for me it is. I do everything on hyper speed when it comes to learning or doing something internally (whether emotional or mental or soulful) or accepting or understanding something new.
She was walking along with me wonderfully up the hill, following my energy just perfectly and responding to my body language however I wished her to. I think I am finally starting to really get the hang of the body language, and I have realized that the draw is not just in your body language but also in your emotions and thoughts at the moment. If you have yourself closed to the horse and you feel a bit nervous and you're thinking negative thoughts, they aren't going to want to follow you much less COME to you. No one wants to be so close to what seems like an emotional wreck to them! Plus, if you're all emotionally impulsive, how do you expect yourself to be able to lead and be in partner with a horse? HA! Because I was doing so well and so was she, I brought my energy forward in a surge. She lifted up on her hind legs and rocketed forward, but turned when I did and then slowed and collected to my body language. I was calm and my back was straight but I was carrying my weight "underneath myself" and on the "hind end" so that she would do the same. She had her back and neck rounded, she was free of tension, and she was stepping very nicely and in underneath herself. Just to see what would happen, I dropped all of my energy at once and she stopped and breathed out just like that.
We walked on together, close, and at great peace. The next time that things were a tad upset was when we had gone out of view of the other horses. It was not even until a little while after that, when I started to worry about if she would worry about being away from the other horses and hoping that walking away from them would not ruin the moment. It was just the very slightest thing that few people would have noticed, but the unsure look in her eyes came back and she began to become slightly more tense. I realized what had happened but knew that it would take a bit of retreat before both of us had lost all tension again. After getting her attention with the Carrot Stick just lightly flicking her rump (the first and only time I used it), we walked together back towards them. Once I let out a breath of relief and dropped all tension, she did so too. I realize how dependent they are on MY emotions and nerves... especially Cherish and Hope. I pointed her between a few trees that were off of the side and she looked at me, saw where my energy was leading, and walked right through them. She walked listening to me as if she were making sure that I were still safe. She was completely lacking tension and happy to be there. We were both at peace, between the trees. She slowed and then stopped moving, so I stepped ahead of her to see why she had stopped. We had walked right toward a bramble patch, at which I took the opportunity to see if my boots were really all that great. They kept the brambles out of my feet and ankles while I stomped them down to make a path, but unfortunately did not have the same affect on my upper legs, arms, and hands. Cherish walked patiently as if she understood what I was doing. I walked through the rest of the brambles and she followed me happily, as if she were peaceful but still wondered where we were going next. She was excited to have me do just this- to be one with her in her natural habitat, amongst the brambles and forests and such. This allowed both of us to take turns being leader and to take turns being partner- and I think that in a PARTNERSHIP it is important for both sides to know both roles... And then still, they can even walk WITH each other.
I led her into the pine woods, where we came across many tiny places. Surprisingly enough, I would squeeze through a small spot to create strategies on how to get her through and then the next thing I know I would look back and she would be squeezing through this tiny space that I had to crunch down to walk through. She was lifting her legs up over brambles, putting her head down, crunching her legs in underneath her so that she walked as if she were crawling, turned sideways, twisted her head and neck to where her head was sideways and squeezing through small spaces- IT WAS AMAZING. I never knew a horse could fit in such a small space, but if they have heart and desire, they can. She wanted to follow me through tiny spaces not because I asked her to, but because she wanted to. For the most part she followed and mirrored me without interference, but there were times where she would step in front of me, telling me not to go somewhere. I would then follow her through her way only to get to the other side and realize that there was a giant hole there! She knew that I was watching out for her, so in turn she was watching out for me.
We got to a place where we would not be able to go further (complete WALL of vines growing down trees) so I decided that it would be best to jump out (there is a road carved into a bit of an embankment, and the trees are on top of that embankment and stretch up the rest of the ridge). The area I had picked was steep, but I had not realized this until I was already there, so I thrust forward and landed on my feet after jumping down. Cherish jumped down right afterward, but out so that she would not run into me. When she landed, it looked like she hit her hooves hard on the gravel road in order to twist her body and avoid hitting me so I decided to let her eat on the tiny strip of grass before the drop off on the other side of the road. She enjoyed this sitting here, and so did I. With her anything seems special.
There was a steep opening that allowed us to get back into the woods another way, so I decided... Why not explore? I expected Cherish to stay but jumped and climbed a bit before reaching the more level ground and looking around the corner of some trees. There was a small opening in the trees as if a few had failed to grow, and it looked nice there. I heard hoof steps, a thud, and a few more hoof steps, and then Cherish was right next to me. She had jumped up the embankment- which was probably a good two and a half to three feet tall- to be with me. I felt so happy at the moment that I forgot about getting back down. We continued through, her helping me and me helping her navigate through brambles, sticks, fallen trees, and animal holes, until we came to an area of WAY too many brambles. I began to try to navigate through them but was only met by many spikes and a horse who advised to me not to go forward. She led me down a small path on the edge- to a fairly easy opening where each of us just had to step down a few steps. We steadied each other on the way down before landing on the gravel road and resting on the other side. She had the most serene look in her eyes, one that I so much enjoy after knowing the look that she had when she originally came here. Looking back we have gotten ten thousand times farther than she was. I say "we" and "she" because when she arrived at home, she was not confident enough to be my partner... compared to the connection we have now, I think that is amazing. She is no longer she and I am no longer I, but we are we.... together.
We took a nice walk back down to the barn, where I let her loose in the barnyard to eat grass. She stayed very close as I spoke to my mom about how my day with her had gone. She smiled the whole time I excitedly explained, and Cherish stood near, joyful and peaceful as ever.
Today cannot be described as good..... It was amazing.
I put on my Valentine's Day muck boots that I had gotten- they fit just perfectly, they're small enough so that they're not clunky and hard to walk in, they fit well and are easy to run in when playing with the horses, and they're light enough to jump onto the horse's back and do active stuff with them on!! Yeah! The soil is now dry enough so that I didn't sink above my ankles in mud when I stepped off of the concrete porch. Each step that I took bounced and the wind seemed to wrap around me and encourage me to dance, to be joyful. I smiled at it, laughed at it even, at it's pure joy and childish behaviors. I believe that it is good, no matter how old you are, to always act like a child at some times because without that innocent childlike goofiness, how will you ever be deep like a wise, old woman?
I ended up with this flash of a small clip of me and Cherish trotting up the hill together, her ears up and me smiling ahead. This is one of those that I get that usually DOES happen if I put the power to it, if I try... So I decided to go for it. I grabbed a halter and a 22' line, a carrot stick and a savvy string. As I walked to the fence the sun was shining in my eyes so I decided to pause every so often to shield my face. All three of my beautiful girls were standing at the fence waiting for me patiently... Or even slightly impatiently. When I reached the gate Finale was the first to greet me only because she had chased the other two away- if I went by the rule "I'll get whoever comes to me first" it would not be fair to the other two, lesser dominant horses. Finale would just be played with all the time!
After rubbing Finale and loving on her, I walked over to Hope. I stroked her a bit and then walked in under her neck to Cherish- who was looking at me softly, as she always does. I reached my hand out to her and waited for her to reach out to me, which did not take long. I stroked her a bit before offering her the halter which she took very happily. It's almost as if she proudly and gently lifts the halter onto her face as if it's a ceremonial gift every time. It's so sweet.
I walked out of the pasture with her and paused to eat grass with her as I closed the gate. Walking down the gradual slope to the backfield with my girl next to me was a beautiful thing. The light was just right for photography and the trees stood tall above our heads, keeping watch and declaring their beauty. I made a vowe to myself right then and there to use my Carrot Stick and 22' line as little as possible, to have as light a touch on the rope as I could, to have as strong as a connection as both myself and Cherish would allow. Today I was very open, very clear in my soul and in myself. I am still learning how to completely open myself all the time and leave myself open because I am so used to being reserved from people and only showing parts of myself at a time. It has been one of the more difficult things for me to accomplish but is coming along well, I believe that I'll have it down within a few days. It's taken me a couple weeks to get where I am but that's okay, sometimes things just take time. Someone else may think that sounds funny because it really ISN'T that long, but for me it is. I do everything on hyper speed when it comes to learning or doing something internally (whether emotional or mental or soulful) or accepting or understanding something new.
She was walking along with me wonderfully up the hill, following my energy just perfectly and responding to my body language however I wished her to. I think I am finally starting to really get the hang of the body language, and I have realized that the draw is not just in your body language but also in your emotions and thoughts at the moment. If you have yourself closed to the horse and you feel a bit nervous and you're thinking negative thoughts, they aren't going to want to follow you much less COME to you. No one wants to be so close to what seems like an emotional wreck to them! Plus, if you're all emotionally impulsive, how do you expect yourself to be able to lead and be in partner with a horse? HA! Because I was doing so well and so was she, I brought my energy forward in a surge. She lifted up on her hind legs and rocketed forward, but turned when I did and then slowed and collected to my body language. I was calm and my back was straight but I was carrying my weight "underneath myself" and on the "hind end" so that she would do the same. She had her back and neck rounded, she was free of tension, and she was stepping very nicely and in underneath herself. Just to see what would happen, I dropped all of my energy at once and she stopped and breathed out just like that.
We walked on together, close, and at great peace. The next time that things were a tad upset was when we had gone out of view of the other horses. It was not even until a little while after that, when I started to worry about if she would worry about being away from the other horses and hoping that walking away from them would not ruin the moment. It was just the very slightest thing that few people would have noticed, but the unsure look in her eyes came back and she began to become slightly more tense. I realized what had happened but knew that it would take a bit of retreat before both of us had lost all tension again. After getting her attention with the Carrot Stick just lightly flicking her rump (the first and only time I used it), we walked together back towards them. Once I let out a breath of relief and dropped all tension, she did so too. I realize how dependent they are on MY emotions and nerves... especially Cherish and Hope. I pointed her between a few trees that were off of the side and she looked at me, saw where my energy was leading, and walked right through them. She walked listening to me as if she were making sure that I were still safe. She was completely lacking tension and happy to be there. We were both at peace, between the trees. She slowed and then stopped moving, so I stepped ahead of her to see why she had stopped. We had walked right toward a bramble patch, at which I took the opportunity to see if my boots were really all that great. They kept the brambles out of my feet and ankles while I stomped them down to make a path, but unfortunately did not have the same affect on my upper legs, arms, and hands. Cherish walked patiently as if she understood what I was doing. I walked through the rest of the brambles and she followed me happily, as if she were peaceful but still wondered where we were going next. She was excited to have me do just this- to be one with her in her natural habitat, amongst the brambles and forests and such. This allowed both of us to take turns being leader and to take turns being partner- and I think that in a PARTNERSHIP it is important for both sides to know both roles... And then still, they can even walk WITH each other.
I led her into the pine woods, where we came across many tiny places. Surprisingly enough, I would squeeze through a small spot to create strategies on how to get her through and then the next thing I know I would look back and she would be squeezing through this tiny space that I had to crunch down to walk through. She was lifting her legs up over brambles, putting her head down, crunching her legs in underneath her so that she walked as if she were crawling, turned sideways, twisted her head and neck to where her head was sideways and squeezing through small spaces- IT WAS AMAZING. I never knew a horse could fit in such a small space, but if they have heart and desire, they can. She wanted to follow me through tiny spaces not because I asked her to, but because she wanted to. For the most part she followed and mirrored me without interference, but there were times where she would step in front of me, telling me not to go somewhere. I would then follow her through her way only to get to the other side and realize that there was a giant hole there! She knew that I was watching out for her, so in turn she was watching out for me.
We got to a place where we would not be able to go further (complete WALL of vines growing down trees) so I decided that it would be best to jump out (there is a road carved into a bit of an embankment, and the trees are on top of that embankment and stretch up the rest of the ridge). The area I had picked was steep, but I had not realized this until I was already there, so I thrust forward and landed on my feet after jumping down. Cherish jumped down right afterward, but out so that she would not run into me. When she landed, it looked like she hit her hooves hard on the gravel road in order to twist her body and avoid hitting me so I decided to let her eat on the tiny strip of grass before the drop off on the other side of the road. She enjoyed this sitting here, and so did I. With her anything seems special.
There was a steep opening that allowed us to get back into the woods another way, so I decided... Why not explore? I expected Cherish to stay but jumped and climbed a bit before reaching the more level ground and looking around the corner of some trees. There was a small opening in the trees as if a few had failed to grow, and it looked nice there. I heard hoof steps, a thud, and a few more hoof steps, and then Cherish was right next to me. She had jumped up the embankment- which was probably a good two and a half to three feet tall- to be with me. I felt so happy at the moment that I forgot about getting back down. We continued through, her helping me and me helping her navigate through brambles, sticks, fallen trees, and animal holes, until we came to an area of WAY too many brambles. I began to try to navigate through them but was only met by many spikes and a horse who advised to me not to go forward. She led me down a small path on the edge- to a fairly easy opening where each of us just had to step down a few steps. We steadied each other on the way down before landing on the gravel road and resting on the other side. She had the most serene look in her eyes, one that I so much enjoy after knowing the look that she had when she originally came here. Looking back we have gotten ten thousand times farther than she was. I say "we" and "she" because when she arrived at home, she was not confident enough to be my partner... compared to the connection we have now, I think that is amazing. She is no longer she and I am no longer I, but we are we.... together.
We took a nice walk back down to the barn, where I let her loose in the barnyard to eat grass. She stayed very close as I spoke to my mom about how my day with her had gone. She smiled the whole time I excitedly explained, and Cherish stood near, joyful and peaceful as ever.
Today cannot be described as good..... It was amazing.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Pilgrimage to the North Winds brings Friendship.
I have been lightly studying the 26 horse character types by Klaus Hempfling, as I do not have his book yet "What Horses Reveal". I have gotten this from watching the videos, watching the pictures of the horses, and taking in the words. I am almost positive that I am right on the three of them.
Hope is a Pilgrim.
She always has that far away look in her eyes and she just LOVES trail rides. When one of us plays with her, she wants to go farther... and farther... and farther. She doesn't particularly care to stay near the barn, and doesn't seem to mind when we take her out of sight of the other horses. She does mind when the other horses are taken out of sight of her. Last night, I put her in the arena just to watch her at liberty... Not do anything with her, just watch. She would walk around the arena, not on the fence, but just walking around to touch different objects. Every few minutes she would look out at something way in the distance with this really independent, peaceful, driven look in her eyes. The only times that she came up to me was when I too looked out and had an independent, strong, and peaceful feeling. I do get these often but not with the horses because I have trained myself to be EXTREMELY soft with them- because Cherish needs me to be soft with her.
I will have to start working on my feelings, emotions, and general insides again. I had gotten to the point to where I had mastered emotions so well that I didn't think that I needed to practice as frequently. This is not true- my control over my emotions has diminished just slightly. I am shameful in myself, I can't believe I would do that.... I don't think it will take me that long to get back into the routine again though. It is still very slight, but it just takes a bit longer and a bit more for me to actually get there and if I'm not paying attention it will fall through again. It's not still an instant.
Cherish is the North Winds.
She was SO distant when we got her, and even though people say she isn't, she still can be- even if just slightly. She has a hollow back and bad neckline right now and it will take me a lot for her to have a rounded neck and back. It takes a lot for her to trust people if they are not going about it correctly... and it doesn't take long for her to get unsure and hesitant and distant again. She can be assertive, especially to dogs and people that seem weaker or smaller. She does have an urge to move sometimes, but before then she will just be frozen. She is completely independent. She has come to be much warmer and more trusting of me. She loves to run with me, and when I ride her she loves to just be with me, but she also loves to go fast. She has come to the point of where she enjoys being with me and will even seek me, but it has taken a while.
Finale is... the Friend.
She loves to come up to you and stand next to you. She loves to be with humans. The first time I went out to sit with the horses for a long time, she was the first one there and did not allow the others to stay too long because they were getting "too close". She was afraid they were going to step on me. When we play with her, she is completely with us. When we take her up the backfield, she is in complete joy to be with us... She isn't complicated at all and definitely physically solid. She is mentally stable, positive, and brave. I have never seen her spook at anything and I know she will be a wonderful riding horse, especially for beginners because she is so soft and lovely. She strives to do anything for you, and she enjoys doing anything. I think she will be an amazing dressage horse because of her form...
This is what I have gotten from his videos. I could be incorrect.
Hope is a Pilgrim.
She always has that far away look in her eyes and she just LOVES trail rides. When one of us plays with her, she wants to go farther... and farther... and farther. She doesn't particularly care to stay near the barn, and doesn't seem to mind when we take her out of sight of the other horses. She does mind when the other horses are taken out of sight of her. Last night, I put her in the arena just to watch her at liberty... Not do anything with her, just watch. She would walk around the arena, not on the fence, but just walking around to touch different objects. Every few minutes she would look out at something way in the distance with this really independent, peaceful, driven look in her eyes. The only times that she came up to me was when I too looked out and had an independent, strong, and peaceful feeling. I do get these often but not with the horses because I have trained myself to be EXTREMELY soft with them- because Cherish needs me to be soft with her.
I will have to start working on my feelings, emotions, and general insides again. I had gotten to the point to where I had mastered emotions so well that I didn't think that I needed to practice as frequently. This is not true- my control over my emotions has diminished just slightly. I am shameful in myself, I can't believe I would do that.... I don't think it will take me that long to get back into the routine again though. It is still very slight, but it just takes a bit longer and a bit more for me to actually get there and if I'm not paying attention it will fall through again. It's not still an instant.
Cherish is the North Winds.
She was SO distant when we got her, and even though people say she isn't, she still can be- even if just slightly. She has a hollow back and bad neckline right now and it will take me a lot for her to have a rounded neck and back. It takes a lot for her to trust people if they are not going about it correctly... and it doesn't take long for her to get unsure and hesitant and distant again. She can be assertive, especially to dogs and people that seem weaker or smaller. She does have an urge to move sometimes, but before then she will just be frozen. She is completely independent. She has come to be much warmer and more trusting of me. She loves to run with me, and when I ride her she loves to just be with me, but she also loves to go fast. She has come to the point of where she enjoys being with me and will even seek me, but it has taken a while.
Finale is... the Friend.
She loves to come up to you and stand next to you. She loves to be with humans. The first time I went out to sit with the horses for a long time, she was the first one there and did not allow the others to stay too long because they were getting "too close". She was afraid they were going to step on me. When we play with her, she is completely with us. When we take her up the backfield, she is in complete joy to be with us... She isn't complicated at all and definitely physically solid. She is mentally stable, positive, and brave. I have never seen her spook at anything and I know she will be a wonderful riding horse, especially for beginners because she is so soft and lovely. She strives to do anything for you, and she enjoys doing anything. I think she will be an amazing dressage horse because of her form...
This is what I have gotten from his videos. I could be incorrect.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Left and Right
Today was my first day of a series of yoga days that I have decided to partake in. Although I am not fat, I am noticeably off balance and wouldn't mind being that fit. As I was doing the various exercises, stretches, and poses, I noticed that everything was done on both the left and the right side. After I had mastered a pose on the right side, I would change to the left side and find that I had to start all over again, retraining and balancing once again. This made me think of how you have to train a horse to do something on both the left and right side of their body, to be equivalently strong on both sides. I found that I am much stronger on my right side (also the side that I right with) and that when standing on my left foot, it was noticeably more off balance than the other. Horses are the same way- their balance may be stronger on one side than the other, and usually is. Unfortunately most people do not realize that horses have sides just as horses do. Being equivalent is something extremely important- both physically and mentally and emotionally.
Both humans and horses have Left and Right sides to their brain. Although they are usually more dominant on one side over the other, it is still good to practice using your less developed side. The only way to be a balanced person is to have a nearly equivalent personality from both your Left and Right brains, from both your Introvert and Extrovert, from both your Intuition and Sensory, your Thinking and Feeling, and your Perceiving and Judging qualities. Why do I say all of these things? These are all parts of MBTI profiling, which isn't wonderful but is fairly easy to learn and has greatly expanded my knowledge of psychology.
So often we leave out the underdeveloped side of things- no matter what it is. I challenge you to balance out your [insert unbalanced thing here].
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Song and Dance
For many, today is the super bowl, but I couldn't care less about that. For me, today is the first day that I have sung my soul. Today is the first day that I have unlocked the part of my inner self that I have hidden for so long. Today is the first day of the many days to come of touching Hope's soul, her touching mine, and creating a partnership with her. Today is one of the many days that Cherish and Finale have opened themselves to me... And finally, I have completely opened myself to them. Today is the first day that I have learned how to truly open my whole self so that all around can see.
All of this speak of "souls" and "inner selves" may sound trivial to anyone just opening this blog who does not understand the ideas behind the words. Call it what you want- a soul, self, inner self, a being, an inner being, conscious, mental/emotional state... whatever you wish, but it's all the same.
Singing your soul is something that has recently occurred to me as very important. I had not heard of this anywhere before, but it is possible that there is someone else who has come up with a similar concept. I found out a few months ago that not only was it very relaxing for horses to be sung to, but it was also very relaxing to sing- and depending upon what you sing, it creates a different mood and "softness", lack of softness, or even heaviness in the horse. Continuing with the singing, I found that some songs actually seem to mold the shape of the partnership in that moment and connect the human and horse in a much greater way than before. The more I sang while I was just being with the horses, the words began to mix together and I began to sing what I call "the present song". The present song is the state that you are in in the present, full and real. It is not necessarily your whole self but what you allow yourself to see and what you allow to filter through. It is what you feel and sense in the moment and how you view the world. When singing the present song with the horse, if we connected the present song would entwine between human and horse and create a song of one between two. Then, as I sang further and further, I noticed that there were moments where my song would take turns, cut ends, stop short... There were faults in my song. My song was avoiding me. I realized that this goes hand in hand with what I do in every day life- I avoid the parts of my soul that I have chosen not to see, chosen not to let others to see for fear that they will hurt it. This is the complete and true inner self of the human that many people search for when all they have to do is open it. It is right there, in your grasp for your whole life, but so many people go on "retreats", "vacations", and even seek help through counseling and therapy in order to sort through the "problems" and get to their soul. Unfortunately so many people do not realize that their soul is with them at all times, and there is no problem other than THEM SELF. No one- not a counselor, not a psychologist, not a pastor- and dare I say it- not a "higher powered being" can fix this for you. Only you have the key to your soul. It has not actually taken me that long from the theory of soul singing to get to my singing of the soul. I have found my song today, and it is a beautiful one at that. I loved every moment of it, could not drink enough of it, was like a child who was first remembering a dream in the morning, or a little girl who first touched a horse. I was opened to a new world of wonderful things, a new world where I still have much to explore. The amazing this is that many people never find this new world of things that everyone should see- That every simple living thing connects in order to create the world. Everything affects everything, and ever single thing means something. There is a story in ever piece, a life in every living thing, and there seems to be emotion and thought hidden in ever corner, crevice, and lawn of the world as if they were easter eggs. Not too many people see their soul.... Instead they sell it or hide it. Please, I beg of you- do not kill your soul, and do not let others kill your soul.
Though few people know, Hope and I have gone through some past discrepancies and difficulties since my mom and I bought her just after she had turned five years old. Buying a green five year old Half Arabian mare was probably not the smartest choice on our part, but we had fallen in love. To make a long story short she was injured the day after we brought her home, by fault of a vet was infected with three major bacteria in her lower left hind pastern/coronet band/upper hoof wall, and had to undergo surgery in order to extract the infected tissue so that it would not spread to the rest of her body. By the time she had healed she had become dangerous to ride and very spooky, but also turning very dominant at times. Whereas before she had loved humans and been a very soft, playful mare, she was now very angry and scared of humans. This went on for a few years before we found Parelli, but it did not magically disappear in one night. She is now very calm thanks to my mom, but at the moment very disinterested in humans. Due to the past that we have shared I have often had confidence issues with her. I have wanted to connect with her for a while, as I had always thought she was special, but have not been ready until now.
I was pushing yet another load of manure out to the manure pile from the barn, where I had been stripping the stalls. I was elated with myself from achieving singing my soul and so complete. Looking at the trees, I thought at how pretty they were and how many instances they had stood before, how many memories that had passed by them. My head turned softly to the left, where I watched with great curiosity where Hope was standing at the gate and the other horses were standing off behind her. Her ears were pricked and her whole expression was very attentive- and focused on me. I know that Hope is extremely perceptive, but was really wondering if she was that sensitive to things that she could tell I had become one with myself. I let the wheelbarrow stop, stood there watching her for a moment and decided to step over there for a moment. What I was greeted by was overwhelming, much more character from her than I had seen in a long time. I wondered... if this was all it really took. Was it me that had to be one before she could be the same? I reached out my hand as an offering, as to which she rested her nose in it. I had not noticed that I had changed the way that I offer my hand until just now... Could it be that my oneness with myself had changed my whole expression of myself? Quite possibly. I offered her the halter, but she began to turn her face away. I remembered seeing something that Klaus Hempfling had said on one of his videos: "A mare needs most... RESPECT." I stepped back twice and also stepped away, apologizing for my straightforwardness. She immediately thanked me. What happened following was something that I cannot describe on logical terms too easily. I had become so in tune to her that what my energy focused on, hers focused on, and if her energy in fear focused on something mine would focus on that thing as well. At one moment we had pivoted on our "hindquarters" and both leaped forward, then running. She tossed her head, kicked up her heels in a joyful manner, and pricked her ears forward. I stopped quickly in astonishment but she had already done the same. Whether or not I had begun this or she had was not really noticeable by either of us- only that we had done it together. At another point, I began to trot. She followed me instantly, and as we trotted I began to stand straighter and tuck my legs in under me. Following me, she did the same and rounded her back. I began to raise my legs higher, and she did the same, in almost a dressage maneuver of sorts. I began to curve my body this way and that, ever so slightly, and in response she would curve her body around me or away from me depending upon how I had turned and where I had asked her to move with my body language. It was an amazing dance.
Before we had danced of oneness and beauty, she had needed help dancing of frustration and fear. I had helped her dance these dances before, allowing her to let them grow without restrictions. This may sound as if it were contradictory to getting her to dance with oneness, but if I had restricted her frustration and fear it would have stayed there. By allowing her to be herself, to be free, to sing the song of the present, I was able to allow her to sing the song of her soul.
I believe that from now on when I am with the horses I will be open myself completely to them. Before I did not have worries or regrets, only hidden pieces of myself. By allowing myself, the pieces of me that show my strength and freedom and everything of the like, will be here. Now that I know how that feels, I imagine that it will not leave.
All of this speak of "souls" and "inner selves" may sound trivial to anyone just opening this blog who does not understand the ideas behind the words. Call it what you want- a soul, self, inner self, a being, an inner being, conscious, mental/emotional state... whatever you wish, but it's all the same.
Singing your soul is something that has recently occurred to me as very important. I had not heard of this anywhere before, but it is possible that there is someone else who has come up with a similar concept. I found out a few months ago that not only was it very relaxing for horses to be sung to, but it was also very relaxing to sing- and depending upon what you sing, it creates a different mood and "softness", lack of softness, or even heaviness in the horse. Continuing with the singing, I found that some songs actually seem to mold the shape of the partnership in that moment and connect the human and horse in a much greater way than before. The more I sang while I was just being with the horses, the words began to mix together and I began to sing what I call "the present song". The present song is the state that you are in in the present, full and real. It is not necessarily your whole self but what you allow yourself to see and what you allow to filter through. It is what you feel and sense in the moment and how you view the world. When singing the present song with the horse, if we connected the present song would entwine between human and horse and create a song of one between two. Then, as I sang further and further, I noticed that there were moments where my song would take turns, cut ends, stop short... There were faults in my song. My song was avoiding me. I realized that this goes hand in hand with what I do in every day life- I avoid the parts of my soul that I have chosen not to see, chosen not to let others to see for fear that they will hurt it. This is the complete and true inner self of the human that many people search for when all they have to do is open it. It is right there, in your grasp for your whole life, but so many people go on "retreats", "vacations", and even seek help through counseling and therapy in order to sort through the "problems" and get to their soul. Unfortunately so many people do not realize that their soul is with them at all times, and there is no problem other than THEM SELF. No one- not a counselor, not a psychologist, not a pastor- and dare I say it- not a "higher powered being" can fix this for you. Only you have the key to your soul. It has not actually taken me that long from the theory of soul singing to get to my singing of the soul. I have found my song today, and it is a beautiful one at that. I loved every moment of it, could not drink enough of it, was like a child who was first remembering a dream in the morning, or a little girl who first touched a horse. I was opened to a new world of wonderful things, a new world where I still have much to explore. The amazing this is that many people never find this new world of things that everyone should see- That every simple living thing connects in order to create the world. Everything affects everything, and ever single thing means something. There is a story in ever piece, a life in every living thing, and there seems to be emotion and thought hidden in ever corner, crevice, and lawn of the world as if they were easter eggs. Not too many people see their soul.... Instead they sell it or hide it. Please, I beg of you- do not kill your soul, and do not let others kill your soul.
Though few people know, Hope and I have gone through some past discrepancies and difficulties since my mom and I bought her just after she had turned five years old. Buying a green five year old Half Arabian mare was probably not the smartest choice on our part, but we had fallen in love. To make a long story short she was injured the day after we brought her home, by fault of a vet was infected with three major bacteria in her lower left hind pastern/coronet band/upper hoof wall, and had to undergo surgery in order to extract the infected tissue so that it would not spread to the rest of her body. By the time she had healed she had become dangerous to ride and very spooky, but also turning very dominant at times. Whereas before she had loved humans and been a very soft, playful mare, she was now very angry and scared of humans. This went on for a few years before we found Parelli, but it did not magically disappear in one night. She is now very calm thanks to my mom, but at the moment very disinterested in humans. Due to the past that we have shared I have often had confidence issues with her. I have wanted to connect with her for a while, as I had always thought she was special, but have not been ready until now.
I was pushing yet another load of manure out to the manure pile from the barn, where I had been stripping the stalls. I was elated with myself from achieving singing my soul and so complete. Looking at the trees, I thought at how pretty they were and how many instances they had stood before, how many memories that had passed by them. My head turned softly to the left, where I watched with great curiosity where Hope was standing at the gate and the other horses were standing off behind her. Her ears were pricked and her whole expression was very attentive- and focused on me. I know that Hope is extremely perceptive, but was really wondering if she was that sensitive to things that she could tell I had become one with myself. I let the wheelbarrow stop, stood there watching her for a moment and decided to step over there for a moment. What I was greeted by was overwhelming, much more character from her than I had seen in a long time. I wondered... if this was all it really took. Was it me that had to be one before she could be the same? I reached out my hand as an offering, as to which she rested her nose in it. I had not noticed that I had changed the way that I offer my hand until just now... Could it be that my oneness with myself had changed my whole expression of myself? Quite possibly. I offered her the halter, but she began to turn her face away. I remembered seeing something that Klaus Hempfling had said on one of his videos: "A mare needs most... RESPECT." I stepped back twice and also stepped away, apologizing for my straightforwardness. She immediately thanked me. What happened following was something that I cannot describe on logical terms too easily. I had become so in tune to her that what my energy focused on, hers focused on, and if her energy in fear focused on something mine would focus on that thing as well. At one moment we had pivoted on our "hindquarters" and both leaped forward, then running. She tossed her head, kicked up her heels in a joyful manner, and pricked her ears forward. I stopped quickly in astonishment but she had already done the same. Whether or not I had begun this or she had was not really noticeable by either of us- only that we had done it together. At another point, I began to trot. She followed me instantly, and as we trotted I began to stand straighter and tuck my legs in under me. Following me, she did the same and rounded her back. I began to raise my legs higher, and she did the same, in almost a dressage maneuver of sorts. I began to curve my body this way and that, ever so slightly, and in response she would curve her body around me or away from me depending upon how I had turned and where I had asked her to move with my body language. It was an amazing dance.
Before we had danced of oneness and beauty, she had needed help dancing of frustration and fear. I had helped her dance these dances before, allowing her to let them grow without restrictions. This may sound as if it were contradictory to getting her to dance with oneness, but if I had restricted her frustration and fear it would have stayed there. By allowing her to be herself, to be free, to sing the song of the present, I was able to allow her to sing the song of her soul.
I believe that from now on when I am with the horses I will be open myself completely to them. Before I did not have worries or regrets, only hidden pieces of myself. By allowing myself, the pieces of me that show my strength and freedom and everything of the like, will be here. Now that I know how that feels, I imagine that it will not leave.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Clear Communication
Often times, it does not occur to me that people want to have a conversation with me. If someone approaches me and says "Hi", I will smile back at them, respond with a quick "Hello" and be on my way. It is not that I intend to be rude or that I do not wish to speak to them, but simply that it passes straight over my head that they might want to speak to me.
Often introverts such as myself lack in their communication department, both speaking and with body language. I am often told that my face looks "strangely blank". What they mean by this is that my face is somehow not smiling and shouldn't be showing emotion (as there is no frown or smile indicator), but that my face is in fact full of emotion- I almost always have a very contented, sometimes so far as amused, look on my face. My horse Cherish is often misunderstood, as I am, for her lack of expression (both in facial and body language). This is not only a fault of the communicator, but also of the perceiver. Interestingly enough, extroverts tend to find it harder to find subtleties in body language (or so I have found) and introverts find it easier. Extroverts also rely more on facial and body expression, while introverts save the like for more extreme expression. Just today, I was in my "Computer Architecture" class, and we were taking apart the insides of computers and putting them back together. I knew that I had all the cables in the right place, but my computer was still not turning on. I got one of the upperclassmen (an extrovert) to help me. When we finally figured out what was wrong (the power button and USB drive cable was loose) he said, "Yes! Finally, we got it to work." I responded with a quiet "Yay, I'm so glad." He thought that my tone of voice meant that it was dry sarcasm, but I was actually beaming with excitement that I in fact had done it right, but that a cable was only loose. This extrovert had a much harder time seeing my excitement than my introverted teacher did, who chuckled at my face expression as he walked by.
If you are an extrovert, do you think you are misreading what your horses are trying to say to you? Do you think your horse is misreading what you are trying to say to them? This could be the very source of your problems, and actually often is- people so often have the communication off with their horse, and don't even realize that it is one of the most important aspects of horsemanship!
Often introverts such as myself lack in their communication department, both speaking and with body language. I am often told that my face looks "strangely blank". What they mean by this is that my face is somehow not smiling and shouldn't be showing emotion (as there is no frown or smile indicator), but that my face is in fact full of emotion- I almost always have a very contented, sometimes so far as amused, look on my face. My horse Cherish is often misunderstood, as I am, for her lack of expression (both in facial and body language). This is not only a fault of the communicator, but also of the perceiver. Interestingly enough, extroverts tend to find it harder to find subtleties in body language (or so I have found) and introverts find it easier. Extroverts also rely more on facial and body expression, while introverts save the like for more extreme expression. Just today, I was in my "Computer Architecture" class, and we were taking apart the insides of computers and putting them back together. I knew that I had all the cables in the right place, but my computer was still not turning on. I got one of the upperclassmen (an extrovert) to help me. When we finally figured out what was wrong (the power button and USB drive cable was loose) he said, "Yes! Finally, we got it to work." I responded with a quiet "Yay, I'm so glad." He thought that my tone of voice meant that it was dry sarcasm, but I was actually beaming with excitement that I in fact had done it right, but that a cable was only loose. This extrovert had a much harder time seeing my excitement than my introverted teacher did, who chuckled at my face expression as he walked by.
If you are an extrovert, do you think you are misreading what your horses are trying to say to you? Do you think your horse is misreading what you are trying to say to them? This could be the very source of your problems, and actually often is- people so often have the communication off with their horse, and don't even realize that it is one of the most important aspects of horsemanship!
Flare of the night,
Hear your battle cry
Throw your torches to the sky
Run blindly through the forest of age
Careful not to set it ablaze
They see your approach
When you only look like moving sparks,
Forever closer in the dark
Fear boils up within them
And then anger at your further flight
Bows and arrows wheel blindly
Some brave souls fall at the foot of the trees
And then, together, the two groups meet
Shock on their faces, tears of surprise
The brother tribe stands face to face
Killed half of each other,
Suppressed by their quick mistake
They trudge home
Shoulder to shoulder
Carrying the wounded
And those never to wake
Women cry out
At their arrival
And the sky lets out a wail of thunder
This poem could mean a lot of things to different people, so please, take a moment to reflect on it and think what it means before I tell you. There is no wrong or right answer, because everyone will have a different way of seeing it. (Note also: My mom thought that this was a civil war poem. I wrote it, and it is meant to be a complete metaphor filled with smaller metaphors. I will attempt to explain some of the metaphors below.)
This is definitely a harder poem for me to explain because it is chock full of metaphors. A lot of it is about being judgmental and accepting people's differences and coming to realize that someone different from you may be trying to reach the same place as you but in a different boat. It is about not arguing or fighting with your peers, with the people that are with you along the way because "Anger is like taking a poison and hoping that the other person dies." Anger and arguments truly do make your self worse off than it was before, so why argue? Often people still feel the same way about something as you do but go about it in a different way. This can definitely relate to natural and normal horsemanship- Normal horsemen may not be as effective as communicating with their horses, but their communication skills or the lack of them does not mean that they would love their horse any less than you or I do. How then can you judge their way of doing things if they are trying to love and do excellent things with their horses in the best way they know how?
Judging people and becoming angry or ignoring others is often destructive to both you and the other people. This is where the two tribal groups go at each other viciously, only to figure out that they are "brother tribes" and realize that they have made a great mistake and done much damage. Someone that you get angry at or dismiss from your acceptance of their being will be hurt- and consequently, so will you. Negative emotions, whether or not aimed at others, still burn you as well. If you hold the fire ball to throw it at them, then your arm will be burnt as well. The bigger your fireball gets, the more you will be burnt and the more they will as well. They eventually help each other carry their injured and deceased back to the villages- but by this time the damage is done, the lives are lost, the families are broken. When they get back from their battle, the women are crying, sobbing even- some because they see that their man is hurt, some because they see that their man is dead, and some because they see that their man is alive but know that their fellow women and men are hurting. The women who are secretly rejoicing for their husband's well being are also ashamed of their rejoice- because they know that their friends and sisters and cousins have lost theirs, or that there are still men in pain. Anger and judgment are both very destructive things, and whether we realize it or not, we can set fire to both the lives of others and your own life. It upsets the order of everything.
I hope that none of you judge people to extremely, and I hope that you are not very angry souls. Anger and judging are both very poisonous things, very terrible things, and can only be solved by you. I challenge you to step into tomorrow with a brighter face and determination to not set things off, to be peaceful with the people around you, and to attempt to find peace within yourself. Often it takes many steps to find peace within yourself- but you may feel a bit more peaceful just by doing this.
This is definitely a harder poem for me to explain because it is chock full of metaphors. A lot of it is about being judgmental and accepting people's differences and coming to realize that someone different from you may be trying to reach the same place as you but in a different boat. It is about not arguing or fighting with your peers, with the people that are with you along the way because "Anger is like taking a poison and hoping that the other person dies." Anger and arguments truly do make your self worse off than it was before, so why argue? Often people still feel the same way about something as you do but go about it in a different way. This can definitely relate to natural and normal horsemanship- Normal horsemen may not be as effective as communicating with their horses, but their communication skills or the lack of them does not mean that they would love their horse any less than you or I do. How then can you judge their way of doing things if they are trying to love and do excellent things with their horses in the best way they know how?
Judging people and becoming angry or ignoring others is often destructive to both you and the other people. This is where the two tribal groups go at each other viciously, only to figure out that they are "brother tribes" and realize that they have made a great mistake and done much damage. Someone that you get angry at or dismiss from your acceptance of their being will be hurt- and consequently, so will you. Negative emotions, whether or not aimed at others, still burn you as well. If you hold the fire ball to throw it at them, then your arm will be burnt as well. The bigger your fireball gets, the more you will be burnt and the more they will as well. They eventually help each other carry their injured and deceased back to the villages- but by this time the damage is done, the lives are lost, the families are broken. When they get back from their battle, the women are crying, sobbing even- some because they see that their man is hurt, some because they see that their man is dead, and some because they see that their man is alive but know that their fellow women and men are hurting. The women who are secretly rejoicing for their husband's well being are also ashamed of their rejoice- because they know that their friends and sisters and cousins have lost theirs, or that there are still men in pain. Anger and judgment are both very destructive things, and whether we realize it or not, we can set fire to both the lives of others and your own life. It upsets the order of everything.
I hope that none of you judge people to extremely, and I hope that you are not very angry souls. Anger and judging are both very poisonous things, very terrible things, and can only be solved by you. I challenge you to step into tomorrow with a brighter face and determination to not set things off, to be peaceful with the people around you, and to attempt to find peace within yourself. Often it takes many steps to find peace within yourself- but you may feel a bit more peaceful just by doing this.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
"If you're going to get fat, don't get fat on pop-tarts."
People that see my sayings are often confused as to whether or not they mean something. I often mix it up, sometimes coming out with something completely random and other times coming out with something that relates to a very deep topic. This would be one of the sayings that would most likely be presumed to be meaningless... but it is a liar. This saying has loads of meaning packed inside, and I hope that I will be able to explain it all in this post.
You slice a piece of moist chocolate cake. As your silver sword to victory cuts through, a dribble of chocolate makes its descent to the clean plate below. Your finger reaches for the icing, white and in all of its purity. You dip your finger in carefully, as if you were regretting breaking the clean surface, and then greedily force it out and upwards with more than should be on the tip. A crooked smile lets itself out from its hiding place, and your eyes light up. Your nose takes in the scent of the delicious thing before you, and your mouth forms a memory of a taste.
I would say that chocolate cake is worth getting fat on. To relate this to something actually really meaningful, you have to look a bit deeper.
The message of this is that it has to be worth your while. There are many people who rush through a day or even a year completing important tasks for certain things to be done, or spending money for people, or bringing up the courage to fight for something unable to fight for itself. The way I sort things out in my life is this simple question: Is it really that important? If I am out playing with one of the horses and I cannot get past a certain point because one of my horse's thresholds, should I get frustrated? No, because getting to a certain point is not as near as important to me as sustaining my horse's confidence. Similarly, if you are going to the store to get one loaf of bread for sandwiches that are being made for two people... Is it worth it? It depends upon your way of thinking, but to me, I would just roll up some turkey, ham, and cheese and call it an indoor picnic. Why not?
There are so many people who get stressed out over the littlest, or something the largest, things. Either way these things mean nothing. It does not matter how big or small their significance may seem. When it is weighed against the more important things, you will find that these tally up to close to nothing. To figure out how to keep yourself from getting stressed or using the wrong judgment, all you have to use is this simple rule: Is getting fat over a pop-tart worth it? For me, no way.
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